Marriage Builder Series #2: He's Not Your Project

Hey girlfriends!  Real marriage is real hard.  There’s a reason we need rules to follow.  Rules provide boundaries for us.  These boundaries give us clear-cut guidelines of ways we can succeed.  They also keep us safe from spiritual attack from the enemy who hates marriage.  Let’s keep Satan at bay by choosing truth over feelings and unity over brokenness. 

Rule #1 reminded us that our husbands were good guys and we need to change our view of them.  Rule #2 follows that same vein.  Read on…

Rule #2.  He’s Not Your Project...stop picking on him

Guess what ladies?  Your husband is not your project.

He is, however, God’s project if the Holy Spirit lives in him.  If you are married to a Christ-follower, you can be assured that God is speaking to him, just like God speaks to you.  If you are constantly trying to change your husband into someone different or someone more godly, you are actually the one who should be changing your tune.  Your husband probably knows the areas in which he is weak.  He doesn’t need you to remind him. When we pronounce judgment upon others, it usually means we should really be looking inward at our own faults rather outward at others.  Only God can judge another’s heart.  Only God can inspire true change.  So, that means you need to stop picking and complaining and berating him for his maleness. And you need to start appreciating him.  He’s worth it.

Prayer can be a great way to deal with this dilemma.  Feel free to tell God all the things you would like to see changed in your husband.  God knows how to speak so he will listen.  When God speaks, your husband will be convicted of his shortcomings.  When you speak these same things, it will be seen as nagging.  So, let God do the talking in these instances and sit back and be sweet—confident that the Lord will do the shaping required to make your guy a great man.

Sometimes it helps if we turn the tables.  Would you like it if your husband were constantly trying to change you?  Would it make you feel affirmed and loved…or degraded and disrespected?  I think you know the answer to that.  Your husband has feelings too.  Please tread lightly on his fragile ego. 

And finally, no comparison-shopping!  Your husband is the man that God gave specially to you.  HE is your ideal.  HE is the one you compare all other men to.  HE is your measure of manliness.  HE is the one you have committed your life to.  Choose to focus your eyes on him and no one else.  You used to think he was a steal.  Remember?  Comparing your mate to others (whose “warts” you cannot see) is terribly dangerous and will make you discontented with the man God chose for you.  DON’T GO THERE.  Enough said.

Your husband is not, and will never be your savior.  He cannot meet each and every need you have.  Only God can do that; let Him.  And give your precious husband a pass on being perfect.  When you choose to accept your husband the way that God made him—idiosyncrasies and all—you allow him to function in confidence and freedom.  When your husband knows that you approve of him, he will feel warm towards you—it’s true. 

And you will like him so much more.

Challenge for the Day:  What is something you would like to change about your mate?  Write it down, but say nothing to your husband.  Then, commit yourself to praying for this request everyday and wait expectantly for God to speak.  As you sit at Jesus feet in prayer, you may find He changes you instead.

Better to live on the corner of a roof
than to share a house with a nagging wife

Proverbs 2:19

Marriage Builder Series #1: He's A Good Guy

Hey girlfriends!  Want to improve your marriage and like your husband again?

This week, I will be posting a series of blog posts on re-directing your heart towards your mate.  Read them with an open mind, asking God to show you where you fall short, and complete the challenge at the end of each day.  Hopefully, with a lot of prayer and a little right thinking, you will be able to discover the joy of your marriage all over again.

Let’s start with the basics.

Having a good marriage takes two people who have chosen to think rightly about one another.  Thinking rightly requires choices that are driven by truth and not emotion.  Our emotions, especially in the heat of anger, will tell us lies about our mate; things like, “He doesn’t really love me” or “He’s intentionally trying to hurt me.”  These things can seem very rational when feelings have been engaged and hurtful words have been exchanged.  So, to prepare for the battles that may be ahead, it’s good to lay down some ground rules for your mind so your emotions can follow.  The first and best rule for wives is this:

1.  He’s A Good Guy... believe the best in Him.

Most of you reading this are actually married to great guys (some of you aren’t—you know who you are--and you need more than a blog post to get your marriage on the right track).  You knew they were great at one time, but stress, and kids, and hurt feelings have gotten in the way of that memory. Remember when you were dating him and you thought he was so clever and cute and thoughtful?  He is still all of those things, but you have forgotten, or you have shown him such disrespect that he has buried himself in his work or his hobbies.  Respect is huge for men, and if we, as women, decide that our husbands aren’t worthy of our respect, we will crush them and they will struggle to show us the love that they still feel.  Do you know that your husband desperately loves you?  He does, and he needs you to believe in him.  He isn’t always skilled at showing that love, but it’s there and it can be coaxed to the surface with honor and respect.  

Do you complain or check out when he discusses his dreams or accomplishments with you?  These actions show him that you have lost interest in what is important to him; and, in essence, you have lost interest in him.  God has given men a passion to provide and a drive to achieve.  When we belittle our husbands for wanting to work hard and run after their goals, we are setting ourselves up for failure in marriage.  We do these things because we are selfish and we want our husbands to be devoted only to our needs.  When we make unreasonable demands of our mate because of our own selfishness, we begin to create a caricature of them that is inaccurate.  This inaccurate view feeds our sense of superiority against them.  Because they have now become the “bad guy” in our minds, nothing they do will seem good enough.  

You know those times when everything your husband does irritates you?  You feel that way because, instead of focusing on yourself and the things you need to change, you are focusing on your husband and the skewed image you have of him in your head.  It doesn’t have to be this way, ladies. If you decide today that your husband is a good guy, and if you choose to have confidence in his love and care for you, and if you understand that he is human and can never be your savior, and if, in turn, you show honor for him instead of bestowing humiliation upon him, you will see him as he really is—a good guy—someone who is for you, a life-long friend and ally.  He is not out to hurt you.  He just wants to love you.

Remember?

Challenge for the day:  Find a notebook or journal and write down all the things you love about your husband.  Then, think back to times when he was on your “A” list and recall all the things that drew you to him.  Share some of these things with him.  Ask God to endear your husband to you daily and continue to add things to your list.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

Reversal

I am a wrestler.  Betcha didn’t know.

Yep.  I wrestle with God and the way He wants to run my life.

I wrestle often.  I rarely win.

I wrestle with God on how to use my time.  I wrestle with Him on how to think about people.  I wrestle with Him about my present circumstances.  I wrestle with Him about glory.

Really. 

And all this wrestling really shows is that I have not fully turned over my rights to myself and my life to my God. Because I think I am entitled to ease and happiness.

But God never promised me those things.  He never promised me that if I followed Him things would be carefree and convenient. 

All He promised was Himself.  This promise is more than enough since He already provided all that I would ever need for life and godliness through His death and resurrection.  There is nothing that I need or don’t have.  There is no part of His Spirit that I will get in the future. He has already given it all to me. 

Yet, still I wrestle and I whine.  I care more about my ego than His glory.  I care more about my routine than His righteousness.  In my tiny little mind, I believe that I know better than the Creator of the Universe.  I believe that if I wrestle, I may overpower Him and my life would be my own to run.

This, of course, is foolishness.  I know this.

But I continue to egg Him on, my tiny voice taunting.  And He continues to humor me with cords of loving kindness.  He tolerates my struggle, my kicking, my screaming, all the while knowing that He, indeed, does know what’s right for me.  He wants to give me His best.

Only He knows what that is.

If I would just relax my defensive stance, watching for Him to move, and if I would just rest in His judgments, I would be completely satisfied. 

Completely satisfied.

And if I would look up and see His face, I would be completely amazed by the stunning beauty of my Lord. 

The stunning beauty of my Lord.

Because it is only in my Savior that I am made whole.  It is only in my Savior that I can give up my rights and be made completely free.

I’m thinkin’ I should retire from wrestling.

And instead, I should take up resting.

In the shelter of the Most High with the Almighty God as my leader, not my opponent.

Won’t you join me?

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:1

 

50 Simple Money-Saving Solutions

After a conversation with a friend the other day about budgeting and frugality, I decided to write a list of fifty simple ways that anyone could save a little cash...because as the saying goes, "A penny saved is a penny earned".  

And who doesn't want to earn a few more pennies?  Enjoy!

1.     Pre-plan:  Plan meals in advance—freeze meals when you have time or use the crock pot on busy days so you are not temped to eat out or buy fast food; Also—when going to sporting events, don’t buy concessions—bring your own. Check out this great site for slow cooker freezer meals: http://wp.sixsistersstuff.com/?s=slow+cooker+freezer+meals

2.     Eat oatmeal for breakfast instead of cereal.  If you’re not a morning person, you can do that overnight in the crockpot too: http://crockingirls.com/recipes/overnight-slow-cooked-oatmeal/

3.     Buy plain yogurt and add fruit rather than buying pre-flavored yogurt, or better yet make your own; http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/10/you-can-make-yogurt-in-your-crockpot.html  (I use the same times/temps for a full gallon of milk)

4.     Skip Starbucks and make your own coffee.

5.     Cook as much as possible from scratch.  Don’t buy pre-packaged, convenience foods.

6.     Compare grocery stores and shop at the one that gives quality with the best value.  Plus…always check the damaged stock—usually in a special area and greatly reduced.

7.     Shop at discount food stores (i.e. ALDI) for staples like flour, sugar, crackers and cereal—you’ll never notice a difference in these

8.     Limit shopping time.  Only visit the grocery store two times per month or whatever works for you.  Do the same with the discount store visits.  When you run out of something, just do without until the next shopping time.

9.     Get to know a farmer and buy ¼ or ½ of a cow. Freeze the beef cuts and use when needed.  This is much cheaper than buying beef at the grocery.

10.  Have your kids take their own lunch to school in reusable containers.

11.  Never buy individually packed items like puddings, applesauce, fruit, and peanut butter.  Just purchase tiny Tupperware containers and package your own.

12.  Buy “baggies” for storing food, not Ziplocs.  With the non-Ziplock type bags, you get almost double to triple for a fraction of the cost.  Better yet, use Tupperware type containers.

13.  Reduce paper products—use real plates, cloth napkins, and rags instead of paper towel

14.  When traveling, check for rates of other motels and mention these rates when calling your chosen motels—they will often reduce their rates to be more competitive.

15.  When planting a garden or flowers, start the plants from seed inside and transfer to soil when the weather permits.

16.  When you have purchased something with which you are dissatisfied, return it.  Many places take things back without a receipt by tracking your credit card purchases at their store.

17.  Use a homemade vinegar cleaning solutions when cleaning your house.  Vinegar is cheap and as effective as most purchased products. http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/vinegar

18.  Make your own facial cleanser out of olive oil and castor oil http://simplemom.net/oil-cleansing-method/

19.  Wash your hair with baking soda, rinse with vinegar http://www.care2.com/greenliving/no-poo-get-beautiful-hair-with-just-baking-soda-vinegar.html?page=2

20.  Cancel cable/dish network or suspend for a season

21.  Don’t go to the mall.  Shop for quality items at Target, Wal-Mart, Kohl’s.  You can often get everything you need at these one-stop shops and avoid entering lots of stores.

22.  Shop for kids clothes and toys at second-hand stores and garage sales.  There are lots of treasures for the finding at much less cost than new. Young kids don’t really care if they have name brands.

23.  When kids’ clothes rip/tear, patch jeans to look “fashionable” or cut off pants to make shorts or capris.  Maybe something like this: http://www.trinketsinbloom.com/diy-patched-jeans/

24.  Minimize clothes.  Your kids only need 2-3 pairs of jeans and 2 pair of shoes; tennis shoes and church shoes.

25.  Shop online and minimize impulse buying while comparing prices to get the best deal.

26.  Save school supplies from year to year and salvage needed items for younger children.

27.  Always look online for store coupons.  You can find big savings here: i.e.:  Hobby Lobby, Borders, Jo Ann’s, etc. Here’s one for this week: http://www.hobbylobby.com/weekly/coupon.cfm

28.  When shopping for a specific item, find one with a slight defect or some damage.  Then, when checking out, ask the cashier it they could take 10 to 15 % off the article because it is defective.  This almost always works and when it doesn’t, I don’t buy the item.

29.  When you are impressed with a product, write a letter, complimenting the company.  More often than not, the company will send you free products or good coupons.  When you are disappointed in a product, send a complaint letter; you will often get free products for this too.

30.  Go to auctions and furniture overstock sales for furniture and be creative.  Could you use two matching footboards for a head board and footboard?  Could that buffet top become a bookcase?

31.  Take good care of what you have and teach your children to do the same.  No need to replace what you already own if all is in good shape.

32.  When filling up with gas, pay at the pump so you won’t be tempted to buy a soda or snack when paying inside.

33.  Skip manicures and paint your own nails—or don’t.

34.  Take inventory.  Knowing what clothes, food, and toys you have will save you money when shopping.  This way you won’t buy duplicates.

35.  Use your local library liberally.

36.  Cut your own kids’ hair while they will still let you.

37.  Play together as a family with things that don’t plug in.  Read a book, play a board game, or take a bike ride rather than paying for entertainment.

38.  Buy greeting cards in bulk—you can get an assortment of boxed cards from places like Current: (even better, make your own) http://www.currentcatalog.com/~Greeting+Cards~Greeting+Card+Value+Packs.html

39.  Check out places like Salvation Army and Goodwill when shopping for specific item like furniture, games, costumes, and toys.

40.  At Christmas time, be creative with gift giving.  Set a limit for each child—maybe one larger gift or a theme of smaller, second-hand gifts (i.e. several small things at goodwill will outfit a dollhouse)

41.  Shop for children’s birthday parties in bulk right after Christmas (or any other time you can find toys on clearance).  Then, create a gift room for these items and let the children “shop” every time they receive a birthday invitation.  This saves LOTS of money and time! Do the same thing for Halloween costumes right after Halloween.

42.  Have children make gifts for each other, or give coupons of time, playing, helping, etc.

43.  For baby showers, give or make the same gift for everyone. Have several on hand so you don’t have to go shopping each time.

44.  Give non-monetary gifts of regular prayer for someone, poems, drawings, promised time together, notes of appreciation.

45.  Keep track of expenses.  You can do this with a computer program like “Quicken” http://quicken.intuit.com/.  Keep track of expenses and do a monthly output sheet with this.

46.  Frame children’s artwork for decorating. Buy frames at Goodwill or rummage sales.

47.  Always buy used cars.

48.  Always pay cash for cars.  By doing this, you will pay less for your vehicle because you will only spend the money that you have.  When you take out a loan for a car, you will often buy more car than you need.

49.  Always use cash.  You will spend much more if you use a credit card.  An envelope system like this works well: http://www.daveramsey.com/article/dave-ramseys-envelope-system/lifeandmoney_budgeting/

50.  Donate unused items to charity organizations like Goodwill or Salvation Army.  Keep a detailed list of donation (and get a receipt at drop off). Goodwill’s valuation guide is surprisingly generous with its estimates:

http://www.goodwill.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Donation_Valuation_Guide.pdf

Send the list in with your taxes to get a nice deduction.  This is much easier and more profitable than having your own garage sale.

The plans of the diligent lead to profit

    as surely as haste leads to poverty.

Proverbs 21:5

College Prep Course

Last Sunday, as I was working at church, I observed a young couple drop off their only child at the nursery.  As is the case with most young children in an unfamiliar environment, the little boy screamed and cried as his parents tentatively walked away.  Witnessing the near-panic in the distressed mother’s face, I came alongside her and said, “He’ll be just fine, Mom”. 

And he was.

That’s kind of how I feel every time I drop off a kid at college for the first time—near panic and unsure of their survival skills.  Except they’re not the ones crying, I am. 

I don’t have to participate in that dreaded exercise this year, (you can read about Luke’s departure here and Tess’ here) but next year, I will do it once again.  And I will cry.  And I will mourn the flight of one more child from the nest that I so carefully prepared for them for 18 years.  This “launching” is always a very sentimental time for me and I spend much time replaying their childhoods in my head.  As I hug them good-bye, I will inhale their scent, reminiscing on the sweet after-bath baby smell that used to intoxicate me when they were young.  I will look in their eyes and envision how dirty-happy they used to be after a full day of making berry potions and mud pies outside.  I will listen to their grown up voices and rehearse the trusting way they used to call out “Mama!” when they had bad dreams at night. As they sit on the bed for their first college photos, I will play and replay our bedtime routines in my mind--complete with music box melodies.  I will remember every picnic in the forest, every lightning bug-catching evening and every song wafting from the swing set. I will remember these things as I embrace my child…and leave my child…and walk down the stairs of the dorm without my child.  Then I will put my sunglasses on as I enter the daylight and let my sorrows about the end of life-as-I-know-it flow out in my tears.  Then I will drive away from my child and feel great guilt over leaving them.  And great fear over trusting them.  And I will want to do a u-turn right there on the highway and drive back to the dorm and rescue them. 

But really, it’s me that I would be rescuing.  My child is fine with her new life.  She is excited to move on and move out.  She is exhilarated by fresh independence.  Her life is finally her own.  She’s ready to run towards her goals and hopes and dreams.  Childhood has been achieved and conquered.  She is ready to grow up. 

And I need to let her.

And while I am struggling, I can thank my Father for the privilege of raising her.  I can rejoice in His sovereignty over her life.  I can ask Him to guide her and protect her as she is away from my ever-watchful eyes.  And I can trust that He will hear my prayer…today and every day...as He guides her and forms her into a beautiful reflection of Himself. 

Because He loves her even more than I do.

I can’t imagine that. 

She’ll be just fine, Mom.   And so will you.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Matthew 10:29-30

Panda on Fire

Long time no see, huh?  Well, I took a little blog-o-cation and gave myself permission to not write in my blog for a month.  I had to do this because I kept feeling guilty about not posting.  You see, I have been keeping this blog for nearly four years now and I have rarely gone more than two weeks without checking in.   I have also rarely been as busy “doing stuff “(that’s for you Mom) as I have been these last 4 weeks.   

 When I told Tess that I felt like I was burning the candle at both ends,

she was horrified and gasped, “What?!” because what she thought I said was

burning the panda at both hands.

 

Once we got that misunderstanding straightened out and I explained to her that I had not been abusing pandas, nor had I been burning their hands, I proceeded to explain the meaning of this oft-used colloquial phrase by enunciating the words “candle” and “ends”.  This seemed to clear up her confusion and appease her curiosity, although I did notice that she hid all of the lighters later that day.

This whole job thing has been in high gear lately since my co-worker has been on leave with a family emergency, and I have been thrown into temporary full time employment—something I haven’t done since before we had kids.  (Kudos to all of you moms out there who have figured out how to do that—I think it’s beyond my capabilities.)  I can’t seem to find the time to do all the things I want to do—like see my family and write in this blog--and when I do have the time, I am too exhausted to do them—eerily similar to when I had four little kids. When my kids were small, I never aspired to be the Super Mom you see portrayed on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook these days.  I could barely handle dressing, feeding, and keeping them all alive.  In fact, to cut down on laundry (and bathing) in the summer, I just had them wear swimsuits all season long.  Not only was swimwear completely washable—outside with the garden hose or in the neighbor’s pool—it really never needed to be removed except for the occasionally potty break (which sometimes also happened in the neighbor’s pool). You think I kid.

Sometimes this feeling of being overwhelmed makes me panic.  But in that panic, I have finally learned to run to Jesus.  There is no rushing in Jesus…no chaos…no fear.  It is in Jesus I must learn to find my rest.  My world may continue to spin faster than I like.  My days may never again be at my own disposal.  I may never have time to selfishly do what I want.  But my Jesus stays the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  And I can always bank on that.  His never changing nature comforts and grounds me. 

So this week, when I feel like things are speeding by me at a thousand miles an hour, I’m going to choose to stop…and sit…and steep myself in His powerful Word.  God’s Word changes how I feel about my life.  It tells me how I should think.  It makes my world smaller and God’s purposes bigger.  It tells me this story--His-story--is not about me.

I may never aspire to be Super Mom, but I have a Super God.  And I can trust Him with all this life throws at me.

Even when I feel like I am burning the panda at both hands.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  

Psalm 91:1

Foolish Flyer

hi·jack   \ˈhī-ˌjak\

a. To stop and rob

b. To steal from

c. To seize control of, especially in order to reach an alternate destination

Sometimes I hijack God. 

a.  I stop God’s work in my life when I rob Him of the glory He deserves and  give it to myself instead.

b.  I steal honor from God by using Him for my advantage—wanting His benefits and His power—but caring little about knowing Him personally. 

c.  I seize control of my life—the life that I told Him was His—when I refuse to submit to His Lordship and run towards myself and my goals, not Him.

When I do these things, I hijack God from His rightful place.  I use and abuse the Creator of the Universe when I go to Him only for the sake of getting personal peace and joy.  I defame His name when I  want things from His hand, but don’t desire to have an intimate relationship with Him. If my primary objective with seeking Christ’s protection is to secure a peaceful retreat from this messy world, then I don’t fully understand Jesus’ request when He prayed for me-- before he suffered for me—saying,

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity.Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (John 17:22-23)

God has generously poured the glory of His Holy Spirit upon us, His children, so that we may be unified with Him and with one another.  When we strive for this unity, we show the world Who God is.  But, when we selfishly pray for God to fulfill us, to make our lives satisfying and to make our joy complete in ourselves—not in Him--we are missing the point.  And we are missing the opportunity to point people back to Him. 

God wants to be the Goal, not just a catalyst to meet our goals.  He wants our joy to rest in Him and His Person, not in our circumstances or our relationships or our success. 

He wants to be the Supreme Satisfier of our souls.  He wants this because He knows only He can satisfy—the world can never do this.

He wants the joy of the Lord to be our strength (Nehemiah 8:10) because His joy is solid and sure.  If we choose to make our own joy and strength our aim, we will quickly become aimless and weak. 

God loves us.  He wants us to initiate a relationship with Him—just because we love Him--just because He is our true Father…our Abba…our Daddy—and not because we want what He can give us. He formed us and made us, for goodness sake, and he taught us to walk in His ways.  We must stop seeing God as a means to an end and start seeing Him as the End himself—the End of our searching souls, the End of our hungry desires, the End of our sinful selves.  He is worthy of our clumsy adoration and our inept attempts at praise.

He is all things great and glorious. 

He is of utmost value.

He is valuable because He is God. We are only valuable because we are sinners saved by His Grace. We gain our righteousness not through the things we have done, but only by Jesus’ death and resurrection.  Through Jesus, God sees us wearing a “robe of righteousness”—complete, perfect, clean.

 It’s a pretty awesome trade-off.

And He’s a pretty awesome God.

And it’s only when we truly fall in love with HIM that we can sit back and enjoy the flight.

 

“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools…”

Romans 1:21-22

In the Doghouse

Hey Y’all!  I’m back.  I’m back from backpacking.  I’m back from backpacking with my wonderful family and my fat, stubborn dog, Neo.  And speaking of Neo, he’s in the doghouse.  Let me tell you why…

Since we all are working folks now, and the children have commitments to their prospective employers, we decided to do our 7th annual backpacking trip over the 4th of July holiday when we had  extra days off—thus reducing the need for everyone to take excessive “vacation” from their jobs.  Knowing that we had just a short time, we decided to go explore a section of the Superior Hiking Trail (North Shore of Lake Superior) that we had not traversed before.  Having been to this trail two times previously, and having taken our dog to it one time previously, we were prepared for amazing scenery, great campsites with “latrines”, and nasty mosquitos. What we weren’t prepared for was our dog’s bad attitude.  Seriously.

Neo used to love hiking but I don’t think he loves it anymore. I don’t think he loves it because he is overweight and out of shape.  In fact, I think that Neo would count this year’s hiking trip as one of his all-time worst life experiences. 

Why do I think this?  Well, it might have something to do with him trying to shirk off his doggy backpack in the bushes…

or his insistence on walking at his own pace far behind the family… 

or his refusal to move his massive 140 pound body after he found a cool, muddy spot on the trail… (notice we were carrying his pack for him by this point)

or his trepidation at walking over bridges.

Maybe his paws were sore and he really wanted some of these doggy boots.

 

But I guess we will never find out since WE ARE NOT BRINGING HIM NEXT TIME.

He seemed pretty exhausted at night when we fed him supper.  And his manners at dinnertime were awful.

I guess it could have something to do with the 15 miles we made him hike the first day—with lots of rocks and mountainous terrain like this…

or the 23 plus more miles that looked like this…

and this…

and this.

or the fear of falling into the rapids that looked like this…

or maybe he just resented looking like one of the famous Beatles in photos like this.

Regardless of the reason, we had to cut our hike short. We were bummed to miss out on more fun times like these…

 

and these…

and these…

but we were afraid that we might kill Neo, or at least permanently disable him.  And we weren’t sure what we would do with him if he died on the trail.  He wasn’t looking good, so we gave him lots of water and NSAIDs and tried to balance mercy, “Come on, you can do it Neo!” with insults, “Kick it in the hiney, you fat mutt!”  After a few too many tugs on the leash, several kicks in the rear, and some partially successful tempting techniques with an entire summer sausage, we came to the conclusion that we might not get our dog out of the mountains.  So, Brent hitched a ride for the existing 14 miles of our planned hike so he could pick up our car and the the boys decided to take things into their own hands, literally. Within a matter of hours, we saw them emerging from the trail like this:

Yes, what you see is true.  Luke and Cole discarded their packs at a trail head (and got them later), picked up the dog in a fireman hold and carried his lazy self down the mountain.  Here’s a better view of this embarrassing debacle:

And that, my friends is the way our hiking trip came to a close.  And this is what our naughty Neo looked like when we got him in the car:

He was a lot exhausted and a lot in trouble.

But we forgave him eventually because he looked so pitiful.  And we were all pretty tired as well.  This is what we looked like—dirty but happy that our dog didn’t die:

And now that we are home and back to our real life, he seems to be his normal, albeit slightly elderly-acting, self.  And also, he seems to be skinnier. 

And we still love him even though he was difficult.

And we still had a good trip because we were together.

But next time, Neo is staying home and staying alive

but he probably will forgo the white suit. 

THE END