God's Beautiful Design

 

I bought a Ken doll on my last Walmart run. In addition, I purchased a black tux for him and a white wedding dress for Barbie. Why were these things on my list among staples like eggs, milk, and bananas? Let me tell you the backstory.

My six-year-old granddaughter, Joelle, was playing at my house with my very limited Barbie selection when she decided to have a wedding. Gathering up the two Barbies (the wedding party), the lone Skipper doll and Skipper’s two dogs (the guests), she dressed them all–minus the plastic pooches–in their finest and frilliest dresses. Then she marched the two biggest of the Barbies down the aisle between the couch and coffee table.

Married

When I asked her what she was doing, she innocently told me that she was playing “wedding” and presented the new couple to me for perusal. As I looked at the meticulously dressed pair, I told Jo that I needed to get a Ken doll so Barbie could marry Ken, to which she responded, “Sometimes girls marry girls.” 

Gulp. 

When my sweet, innocent granddaughter responded in this way, it felt like an offense to my soul. And when my soul is offended, I often speak rashly. But this time, by God’s grace, I didn’t. What I did was what I call “swallow the gasp”.

When I took a few minutes to “swallow”, I was able to resist my most natural reply: “It’s sinful for girls to marry girls.” I chose to thwart this opinion because, even though I firmly hold it, I am trying to reframe my perspective about the brokenness in our world. So, instead I said, “Sometimes girls do marry girls, I said, but that’s not God’s beautiful design.”

Marred

It’s the truth. God’s design is beautiful, but when his design is marred by people who don’t know him, the discrepancy tempts me to play judge. Because I believe God’s design for life and marriage is the very best thing for all of us, I dismiss the dignity of those who eschew it, and gasp at the thought of their choice. Though I would never admit this, I label myself as better than them, and I let my words of judgement flow out of my mouth and –sometimes–into my granddaughter’s ears.

When I respond by gasping instead of showing graciousness, I, too, mar God’s beautiful design. So many times I, the Christian, have talked derogatorily about them, the non-Christian pursuing the sinful paths our society offers to them. Why should I expect anything else? But judging them is not my job–it’s God’s. Recently, I was convicted of this by a tiny book by Amy Carmichael called “If”. In this slim volume, Amy writes several pages about Calvary love, and she says this: “If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting “who made thee to differ? And what hast thou that thou hast not received?” I know nothing of Calvary love.” Wow. Wouldn’t I show Calvary love more fully if, when my soul is offended, I swallowed the gasp–and my judgement–and let sweet words of beauty come out? 

When I errantly speak of these Biblical values as rules to be followed, I take away the freedom of the gospel. When I use the gospel to defend myself rather than give life to my neighbor, I steal the appeal of godliness. But when I demonstrate by my words and deeds, the solidity and clarity and graciousness of God’s free gift to me through the death of Jesus–a death that I deserve–I wipe away the grime from the lens my friends are looking through and let the Son shine in. 

Marvelous

The gospel is not onerous or heavy to bear. The gospel is marvelous because it gives broken humans, like me, a way to become whole again. So, why do I so often gasp? I should be gazing so intently at the gospel that others can’t help but look.

Because I have been gazing more lately, I was able to respond rightly after Barbie had married her friend. Had I gasped when Joelle told me that girls marry girls, she would have learned to look at wordly people as “less-than, invaluable, bad”. But by allowing the Holy Spirit to refocus my mind on God’s beautiful design, I was able to explain that people are faulted, but God is grand. Even though I don't want to emulate sinful choices or celebrate worldly actions, I can esteem these image-bearers as people whom God dearly loves. Rather than condemning what is clearly condemnable, I can choose to offer something commendable–God’s majesty and beauty and his most marvelous ways! 

Recently, Joelle played “wedding” again, but this time Barbie married Ken. And as they walked down the aisle between the couch and the coffee table with the other Barbie, Skipper and the two dogs acting as guests, I felt happy for Jo’s choice, for the new couple, and for God’s good grace to me. In his utmost patience, God is still teaching me to swallow my gasp, to strengthen my grasp on my own sinful ways, and to embrace God’s beautiful design.

Hamburger, Jelly, and the Fruit of the Spirit

 

When my friend, Machelle, asked her three-year-old grandson to name his favorite foods, he listed them: hamburger, jelly, and the fruit of the Spirit. In his preschool mind, the list seemed logical: these were things he had enjoyed at one time or another—the hamburger at dinner, the jelly on some toast at breakfast, and the fruit of the Spirit through the actions of his parents and those who loved him. He heard and remembered this spiritual tidbit about fruit and decided to add it to his favorite foods list. Why not?

Galatians 5:22-23 teaches us “ . . . the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. . . (ESV). When we accept Jesus as our savior, we are “sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it.” (Ephesians 1:13-14 ESV). This encouraging fact means that God marked us as his own by giving us his powerful Spirit to live inside of us! This seal serves as a guarantee that our inheritance in the Kingdom of God is real–not only here on earth but in Heaven as well. Because we possess the same Spirit who is also in our Savior, we are able to produce fruit–or character qualities–that make us look more like Him. But, being able to look more like Him does not mean we always choose to live more like Him. The reality of sin complicates things.

When we allow our sin-tainted will to guide us, we are tempted to gorge on the false foods of self-sufficiency and pride. These can make us feel full for a while, but they won’t lead us toward Life. True life is found in God and in the Spirit he freely offers. When we allow that Spirit to transform us, we can deny our sin and we can feast on the fruit of holiness. This fruit–God’s very nature–is given to enliven and make us more like Him, but it is also meant to be shared. So in a world full of brokenness and grief, Christ-followers can exude beauty, wholeness, and hope; humanity hungers for these. So let’s offer them our bounty, but introduce them to the Giver as well. Wouldn’t it be grand if everyone we met went away full of the Spirit and filled to the brim with fruit? Make us faithful and fruitful, Lord.

Next time someone asks me about my favorite foods, I will start with tortilla chips and ice cream, but, like a certain three-year-old, I will continue with these: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. Why not?

 

I Like Order

I like order. When everything is very orderly, I feel in control. I don’t always like structure– rules and prescriptive ways of doing things–but even when I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants, my flying, and my pants for that matter, are very orderly. 

God has indulged me in this little proclivity: I have four kids, two girls and two boys. All the children are two years apart, the first two in September, the next two in March. We celebrate birthdays two times per year, six months apart. My children' s names all consist of four letters, one syllable. We (almost–coming soon!) have eight grandchildren, four boys and four girls. Each of my adult children has one boy and one girl. 

If you come to my house and remove your shoes and set them so the right is on the left and the left is on the right, this drives me crazy and I will switch them for you, even in front of you, so that they are properly aligned. I also cannot tolerate anything inside-out, especially if it is hanging on a hook where I can see it, or a coat with the sleeves partially pulled inside. I have a compulsion to make things right and orderly–like my dishes, my silverware, and my towels which are all the same color–dark gray (just the towels, not the dishes which are all green and identical and stacked neatly in the cupboard). I make my bed every single day not because I have to but because I want to. It creates order in my house. Obviously, this was all much harder to achieve when I had four sticky children running around, but now that I have the opportunity, I like keeping things perfect.

I like order so much that I rely on it to feel secure. When things fly out of order, which they often do, I feel panicky because they might never become orderly again. 

But here’s the question I need to consider: Am I relying more on my ability to keep things perfectly ordered or on the God who sovereignly allows disorder so that we will run to him? 

Although God does, indeed, like order–look at the creation account or the animals two-by-two, or the instructions for the tabernacle, or the Levitical laws– but because he allowed us free will, disorder now reigns in our world. Because of this disorder, I try to control my little world so I don’t have to worry. But should I really put my trust in my perception of what feels safe? 

I’ve heard people say, “The safest place you can be is in the center of God’s will,” but I am wondering if maybe that’s not really true. Because when I surrender to God’s will, I must give up my own will; giving up my own will feels like losing control. Losing control means that I won’t be able to keep everything in perfect order. Is that where God wants me to be–at the end of myself but at the beginning of him? If we could see the future and were able to control all the variables so we felt at ease with what was ahead, we wouldn’t feel our need for a Savior. But we need a Savior because we have no ability to see around the corner. If what comes next makes my well-controlled house of cards fall to pieces, what will I put my trust in then?

So, even though God is sweet to me by allowing me a great sense of order in my life, if I put my security only in those things–in the things that feel clean and clear and ordered, I lose the opportunity to sit at his feet, to rely on him and not my well-ordered life. When I rely on my own tenacity to keep things well-aligned, I am not truly surrendering my will or my wants. If I only have peace when things are controlled, I’m not really trusting in the One who will sustain me when everything flies out of place (or when the grandchildren all visit at once).

Here’s where I have landed in this meandering thought experiment: If I only feel happy when my physical world is perfect, I am forgetting that Christ did, indeed, give me a little peek around the corner; this peek should give me peace. Christ lived, died, and was RESURRECTED so that I could see that all the chaos of this world will eventually be made beautiful and right. So I don’t need to panic. I need to look farther ahead and see what awaits me when God resurrects and restores Heaven and Earth. Confidence in that future promise is what should give me peace.

So in the meantime, when things get messy, I will be arranging my silverware into neat little piles and thinking thoughts of Heaven.

STOP IT!

There is an old Bob Newhart skit where a woman enters his office (he is a psychologist) and tells him that she has one great fear; being buried alive in a box. After she elaborates and asks the doctor what she should do, he tells her, “I am going to say two words to you right now, and I want you to listen to them very very carefully, then take them out of the office with you and incorporate them into your life . . . STOP IT!” 

I have watched this over and over and laugh out loud at the doctor’s lack of finesse and empathy. But recently, because I am finally recognizing my constant negative feedback loop regarding myself and others, I have heard God saying, STOP IT! He doesn’t tell me to stop these damaging thoughts about myself and others because he lacks finesse or empathy like Bob Newhart. He is trying to change my thinking because he is sanctifying me. Sanctification means that he is making me into the very best Tori that I can be–the Tori he envisioned even before I was born. 

Because I have Christ’s Spirit in me, I can identify thoughts that originate from my sinful nature instead of my new nature, but I have no obligation to obey them because Scripture tells me that my old nature is no longer in charge: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”-- 2 Corinthians 5:17

When I notice that I am thinking about myself or another with dishonor or judgment, I can stop those thoughts in their tracks, and realize that those are the thoughts of the enemy, not God. I can tell Satan to STOP IT! He won’t win with me anymore. I don’t have to obey those thoughts–or him. I can choose to set my mind on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable . . .” (Philippians 4:8). 

I am a child of God, so I don’t have to be a prisoner of my own wrong thinking. I don’t have to allow Satan to have victory in my thought life. I can take charge by telling myself to STOP IT! when I head down the well-worn path of negative thinking. This will not only change my thinking but my feelings about myself and others.

Sin no longer can dominate me because I have died to it. And now my new self is being made into the image of my Creator. The thoughts I have about myself and others should be hope-filled and not condemning because Romans 8:1 tells me that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. How liberating!

It seems like after nearly forty years of following Jesus that I would recognize the power I possess as his child, but God only gives us understanding of his ways little by little, and sometimes those little epiphanies show themselves when we need them most. God has been faithful to lead me in the past. He will faithfully lead me now. When he shows me my sinful thinking, I need to choose to STOP IT!, repent it, and run back into the safe arms of my sweet Jesus.

 

Red Bird Devotions #6

Jean-e-ology

When my oldest son, Luke, was in 7^th grade, he was as hungry as a horse and growing like a weed.  Because of this adolescent growth spurt, he was going through clothes faster than I could I could buy them.  One day his jeans would fit, and the next day they would be too short!  To alleviate this high-water pants problem, I was constantly picking up second-hand or sale-rack jeans and putting them on the stairway for him to grab as he went down to his room in the basement.  I would often just lay them there without informing him and he would just carry them to his closet and put them away.

One day as Luke came up the stairs to eat his breakfast before school, I noticed that his jeans were long enough, but they looked puffy all around his hips and front.  I asked him where he had gotten the unfamiliar trousers; he said he took them off of the top step a few days ago when he had gone to bed.  Turning him around, I looked at the label on the pocket and saw a swan insignia with the name “Gloria Vanderbilt” written below it.  I burst out laughing, finally figuring out where the ill-fitting pants had come from: his grandmother!  Luke was wearing his grandma’s hand-me-down jeans!  My mom had given them to me, thinking that I could wear them since she was getting rid of them.  However, since they didn’t really fit me, I put them on the stairway, intending to carry them to the storage room where I kept our items to be thrifted. Luke has just assumed that these “new” jeans were for him and dutifully put them on.  Maybe he was too tired to notice the puffiness.  Or maybe he thought “Gloria Vanderbilt” designed men’s clothing.  Or maybe he was just being obedient because he thought I wanted him to wear them.  Regardless of the reason, he looked HILARIOUS, but he felt humiliated because he was wearing HIS GRANDMOTHER’S JEANS! Scowling, he ran downstairs as fast as he could and came up wearing some too-short boys’ jeans.  Yes, they were a little too small, but at least they weren’t his grandma’s! 

Why do I tell you that funny story? Because sometimes we, as Christ-followers, also put on the wrong clothing.  Colossians 3:12-14 says,

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

If we are not careful, instead of compassion, we put on indifference; instead of kindness, condemnation.  We wear pride rather than humility, antagonism rather than gentleness, irritation rather than patience.  We berate rather than bear with; We find fault when we should forgive.  We layer on entitlement and envy and judgement where we should be wearing love.  Why do we do this?  Because we adopt the style of the world we inhabit.  If we yearn to look like people of the world, instead of God’s chosen ones, no changing room is required. Those clothes will just naturally become part of our wardrobe.  But, if we long to be clothed in Christ, and we claim to be wearing his “Robe of Righteousness,” we will be able to choose what we are to “put on” and what we should “take off:”

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”( Ephesians 4:22-24)

Next time you are tempted to just “grab something” and throw it on, carefully consider if “what you wear” tells the true story of Whose you are.  If you are a child of the King, your “jean-e-ology” should be obvious.  

Over everything, put on love because love is always in style…for grandmothers AND middle school boys!

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 

1 Peter 3:3-4

The Ultimate Reconciler

I had a thought when I was walking today.  I was missing Brent (who is gone on a weekend away) and God used this momentary feeling to give me a picture of an eternal truth.  Here it is: 

When Brent and I argue fiercely and finally come to a place of unity, the reconciliation is so true and right and satisfying to my soul that I yearn for him in a way that I don’t experience when all is right between us.  I think it is that way with God too…except that we don’t always understand the life-altering reconciliation that is offered us. If we truly sensed our brokenness and saw the great chasm that Jesus closed for us, our hearts would thirst desperately for the Father’s love and we would drink it in deeply.  We would be satisfied in Him alone.  We would long to stay close.

And our hearts would sing for joy.

The Psalmist says it well in Psalm 63:1-8:

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

    my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

    beholding your power and glory.

 Because your steadfast love is better than life,

    my lips will praise you.

So I will bless you as long as I live;

    in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

when I remember you upon my bed,

    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

 for you have been my help,

    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

My soul clings to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

May it be so for me, and for you, as we seek the Ultimate Reconciler, Jesus Christ.

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss -
The Father turns His face away,
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.

“How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” by Stuart Townend