Soul-full

Jesus summed up commonsense carefulness in the life of a disciple as unbelief. If we have received the Spirit of God, He will squeeze right through our lives, as if to ask, “Now where do I come into this relationship, this vacation you have planned, or these new books you want to read?” And He always presses the point until we learn to make Him our first consideration. Whenever we put other things first, there is confusion.

--Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest

Whenever we put other things before God, there is confusion.

Sometimes I forget this.

And then I wonder why my life seems so rushed and chaotic and…confusing.

Ann Voskamp in One Thousand Gifts says, “Hurry always empties a soul.” When I am hurrying, I am not living in that moment, I am rushing to get to the next..and the next…and the next. This incessant urgency within me to be in control, to show my productivity, to get to the next task, is not about God. It does not glorify God. It does not give thanks to God. Because in my rush to make my life look just like I want it to look, I entertain not gratitude, but discontentment--discontentment about not completing my list; discontentment about having too much to do; discontentment about being stressed out; discontentment with my blessed life. This discontentment is not like God.

This lack of gratitude empties my soul.

I don’t want an empty soul.

As Voskamp says, “ I just want time to do my one life well.”

I want to focus on God and have perfect peace—He promises that peace if I steadfastly look upon Him.  He is right here. Right now. In this moment. And in the next.

Rushing ahead won’t help me see Him more clearly. Rushing ahead won’t give me that peace that I crave.

But putting Him first will.

O Lord, please slow my pace, clear my vision, and fill my soul with You.

Amen

Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
   He bustles about, but only in vain…

Psalm 39:6

You will keep in perfect peace
   him whose mind is steadfast,
   because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3