Friday, May 13, 2011

Adventures at ALDI

Ok.  So I go to ALDIs a lot because it’s cheap (I mean where else can you always get a gallon of milk—any milk for $1.99?) and it’s close.  So, I’ve spent a lot of time there and I’ve seen some weird stuff.  Let me share:

Yesterday I was there just to pick up hash browns for my quiche and who did I see but the Old Woman who lived in the Shoe!  I actually think it was her, except she wasn’t old and I think she probably lived in a house—anyway, those discrepancies aside, she had about 60 kids with her and they were all running everywhere and she kept calling out names and saying, “Caroline, come here!” and things like that.  Then I noticed that she had an entire case of Toasty O’s or whatever ALDIs calls their cheerios, and I knew what all of her hundreds of children ate for breakfast every day—or maybe for every meal.  I felt sorry for this cheerio mom, but she seemed Ok with her lot in life, and with her choice of breakfast foods.

Second story:  One day, late in the afternoon, after I had run and showered and neglected to apply any make up or fix my hair, I realized I needed a few things for supper, so I headed to my neighborhood grocery to pick up the items.  As I finished my shopping and took my cart back to it’s chain gain to retrieve my quarter, and as the gale force wind was blowing my scarf directly in my face, a kindly older gentleman stopped me in the parking lot and said, “You look really nice. That color is really great on you.”  Really.  He said this.  And I looked really bad.  And I was so stunned that I mumbled a quick “Thank you”, but what I was really thinking was “Get away from me you weirdo!” and I was in such a rush to return to my car that I completely forgot to get my quarter out of the little slot .  So I guess I made someone’s day that day with the surprise quarter and all, but from now on when I go to ALDIs, I try to fix myself up a little bit so I can feel good when someone tells me that I look great with my scarf in my face.

Final tale:  So when Tess was like 10 or 11, she was going through this growth spurt where she was really hard to fit, and it was difficult to find jeans for her to wear.  And lo and behold, one day as I was shopping at the aforementioned establishment, I saw a rack of jeans—yes in the grocery store.  They were kind of oddly shaped, but so was Tess, so I thought I would buy a pair and give them a try.  Guess what!  These jeans from ALDI fit Tess so perfectly that I decided to buy her a few more pairs of them in ascending sizes since she was growing so fast.  Tess got lots of compliments on her cute pants and when someone would ask where she got them, Tess would correctly say that her mom bought them at ALDIs.  But then people would laugh because they were sure that she got the store names mixed up and that , surely, her mother bought those denim gems at Aeropostal or American Eagle—but ALDI?  No.  YES!  For $12.99, who could resist grocery store jeans?  Not me.  And I bet not the young, Old Woman, Cheerio mom either.  She looked like she was ripe for a bargain.  Maybe she would buy a case of them.  And then all of her kids would look cute while they ate their breakfast.

That’s all I have for y’all right now. 

So, why don’t you rush right out to your own friendly ALDI right now and have your own little adventure!  I think the colored bell peppers are on sale.  And who doesn’t like colorful peppers?  You could probably even sprinkle a few on your cheerios!


  1. Hilarious, Tori! I love that store because I'm cheap. Where else this small can you go and get the cheapest milk, olive oil, cheap make-up products, flowers and a laptop? One-stop shopping I tell ya!

    At Aldi in the last month, a guy shared with me his racist comments (I ignored him), a lady told off the manager, and we accidently left one of my kids by the bread while shopping.

  2. okay, first of all, i bet the young old lady who lived in the shoe that was a house is ACTUALLY homeschool mom i wrote about in my own tribute to aldi.

    second of all, maybe the guy thought you looked so good BECAUSE your scarf was in your face. i don't know that to be true though; i've never seen you without makeup. i know it would be true if it were me.

    third: i love that you can get groceries, fire pits, jeans, mp3 players, pillows, and the works depending on what the 'special buys' of the week are. i'm holding out for butcher block counter tops. one of these days...

    fourth: i know the manager's wife is a massage therapist who had a baby around the same time that i had atticus. and also he smokes, which seems a little weird for a guy with a tiny child and a wife in the healing arts, but whatevs. maybe he buys his cigs at aldi and gets a great deal.