Hey y’all! Did you miss me? I was in Florida last week while Tropical Storm Debby took place, but my mind was in Colorado with Tess as she braved the forest fires, and with Cole as he was in the flooding Dakotas. As I called home to check on Shay, she told me that her father had flown to Arkansas, and that she was feeling rather lonely in Ames, Iowa. At least she was safe.
Oh, and Luke is still in China.
And also, I forgot to tell you I’ve had whooping cough. Remember that little blue mask that Cole had to wear? Here’s the big whoop; he didn’t have the disease. I did. There is a reason they immunize for this. Yes, the doctor prescribed antibiotics—which I faithfully took (we all did) even before I got the results back so I wouldn’t expose any of you—but antibiotics DO NOT cure whooping cough, they just make the whooper not contagious. And it really hasn’t been all that bad except those times where I woke up at night choking because my throat was all closed up. And the times I couldn’t stop hacking because of the incessant tickling in my esophagus. And the fact that they call this “the 100 day cough”. I’ve actually kind of enjoyed pounding the Mucinex and the bubbly-feeling Hydrogen Peroxide gargles. Kidding. I’m kidding folks. It’s been un-fun and a bummer. Go get your tetanus shot now because it includes a bonus pertussis (the scientific name for whooping cough) vaccine in the mix. Really.
And then you won’t have to sleep on 6 pillows while your cow-shaped vaporizer puffs water mist out of it’s little horns. And you will probably have sweet dreams instead of dreams that you are drowning in a deep sea. And your jaw won’t lock shut if you step on a rusty nail—you know, because of the tetanus booster and all.
But, at least I didn’t have to wear a ridiculous mask…because we all know how horrible that would be—although I did see someone casually wearing one on the airplane earlier this week—and she seemed perfectly fine with it—like it was an accessory or something.
To each his own.
Excuse me now while I whoop.