Rest Time

I have not been resting lately.

I have been sleeping well at night, don’t get me wrong, in fact, I sleep more when I am stressed; I just haven’t been resting during my waking hours. 

And by resting, I don’t mean napping.

I mean resting in God’s Providence. Which is why I have been on my knees several times over the last few weeks, begging God to help me to be confident in His plans.  His perfect plans.

You see, my daughters, ages 19 and 21, have been hiking the Appalachian Trail ALL SUMMER LONG by themselves.  Did you get that?  BY THEMSELVES—meaning that they are on the trail ALONE.  Without a real adult who has a history of making good and wise choices.  And oh, has it been LONG (for me, and probably for them, but in a more physical way, I would guess).  If you aren’t familiar with the Appalachian Trail, it is a hiking trail along the eastern US that extends from Georgia to Maine, spanning 2,200 miles.  Because of time limitations, my girls are only completing the northern half of the trail (1,100 miles!). They started in Pennsylvania.

And I haven’t seen them since the third week in May.

And they are backpacking everyday.

And sleeping in a tent or AT trail shelters every night. In the wilderness.

With people they don’t know.  And more disturbingly, people I don’t know.

They have climbed mountains and traversed streams and walked around rattlesnakes, of which they said, “We think it was dead”.  They know me too well.

And I have been concerned about them on the mountains and in the streams and freaking out nervous when they don’t have cell service for three days straight, and not at all excited when they finally do get service and they call and happily tell me they just saw a black bear and two bear cubs, “But the bears just ran into the forest” they said.  “And they were really cute.”  And this of course calmed me. Because everyone knows that cute bears are not dangerous.

I am so worried that they might get sick or get kidnapped (they told me they hitchhiked but that it was only a few times and they were very careful to only get in the car with people who looked nice.  They said if the driver looked creepy, they were just going to act like they needed to answer their phone and wave them on.  “Don’t worry” they said, “We’ll be fine”) or attacked or lost.

I have made myself sick with worst-case scenarios that I have played and replayed in my head.  I have written news articles in my imagination about “those two poor girls from Iowa”.  I have watched them fall from sheer cliffs and into rapids in my unnerving daydreams.  I have imagined them scared and lonely and homesick.

But you know what?  None of these things has happened.  Not that it couldn’t still.  But it hasn’t, and I have spent precious time stewing when they have been having the adventure of a lifetime.

And you know what else?  They aren’t scared.  They are joyful. And they aren’t lonely.  They are building life-long friendships with other hikers they have met.  And they aren’t homesick because the trail has become their home after 11 weeks.  They are simply hiking and enjoying God’s beautiful creation and the simplicity of their present situation.  And they have learning about God’s character and His provision.

Why haven’t I been doing that in these last 11 weeks?  Why have I doubted that God is in control?  And even if I have been aware of His control, why have I doubted His goodness?  Why do I see myself as a better judge, a better guardian, a better story-writer of my daughter’s lives?  Why do I put more confidence in a cell phone call or a satellite tracker or a photo of my smiling girls on Facebook?  Why is it so very hard for me to trust that “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him” even as I continually repeat that verse to myself?

I am not resting because I am putting my hope in everything BUT God.  I tell God I want to trust Him, that I don’t want to feel fearful, that I want to freak out less, and I do trust…for a minute.  Then, I am back on my knees again, with tears in my eyes, wracked with fear.  I am so scared that something is going to happen to my babies.  So scared. So scared, that I don’t know what to do with the feelings.  I SO want to be in control.

But I’m not.

And that’s good.  Because God really is in control.  And His plans really are good.  And He really does love my daughters.  Even more than I do, if that is possible.  And He is watching out for them.  He has protected them from harm thus far.  But the truth is, if they were to be hurt or lost or worse, God would still be in control and I need to remember eternity; I know my daughters are eternally secure.  I know they trust in a loving Savior.  I know that nothing can remove them from God’s hands.  I must repeat these truths to myself.  I must value eternity more than I value my present comfort. "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18)

 All of my my present and future hope needs to be in God, who created the universe with His voice; who formed these precious children within my womb.  I must trust in God’s undeniable faithfulness and his promises to all of his children.  I must choose to believe that His way is the right way… even if it feels really uncomfortable to me.

So, today during my sunrise walk, I got down on my knees in the dewy grass and I told God the day was His and that He could keep writing the story of my daughter’s lives. I’m sure He appreciated my permission. 

And guess what? I felt peace. I felt trust. I felt free.

As a backpacker myself, I know how good it feels when the hike is done and the heavy pack is finally removed—you feel almost as if you could fly. 

So, with y’all as my witnesses, I am removing my burden of fear today and laying it at the feet of Jesus.  

And it feels so good to lay it down—almost as if I could fly. 

There is freedom in surrender.

There is joy in trust.

There is rest in dependence on Jesus.

But I will still be very glad when they're home.  I'm just like that.  And God is just like He is: always faithful; always good; always teaching; always so patient with my unbelief.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” Psalm 91:1

“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers him”

Psalm 34:7

More Than You Can Imagine

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine. According to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen!”
Ephesians 3:20-21

Last summer my family hiked the Camino de Santiago in northern Spain.  (You can read about our adventures starting here).  Many of the cities we traversed had massive, old cathedrals at their centers.  These ornate, burgeoning structures were literally awe-inspiring.  It was not difficult to see what had captured the imaginations of these ancient artisans; on every available edifice you could find paintings of creation, biblical battles, and Mary the mother of Jesus.  And in numerous alcoves along these massive walls stood statues depicting the apostles, the prophets, and Jesus Himself in various scenes.  All one had to do was look upward towards the ceiling to see the entire story of the Bible unfolding before their eyes. It was if the brushstrokes of the painters purposed to draw your eyes heavenward in reverence.  The story of God captivated these devout people of old.  Does it still capture us today?

I don’t think so.

I think, today, that we are wowed by the glitz and the glare and the general glamour of everything that sparkles.  The story of God has been put on the shelf.

But, we get excited about CrossFit.

And March Madness.

And politics. Especially when an election year is approaching.

We are passionate about vaccinations. Or lack of them.

And GMOs.

And homeschooling.

And public schooling.

And grass fed beef.

We consume ourselves with perfect parties for our one year olds.

And social media.

And furniture from IKEA.

But we are no longer awed by THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE WHO SPOKE EVERYTHING INTO BEING.

Does this seem strange to you?

The Westminster Catechism can assist us with this.  It asks the question, “What is chief end of man? (or in today's language, "What is our purpose?) And to help us, it also answers and tells us, “To glorify God and enjoy him forever.”

So…if we are supposed to be glorifying God, but yet we are fascinated with everything but God and, in fact, we think that God is outdated, archaic, even distant, then we are neither ENJOYING HIM nor GLORIFYING HIM.

That means we are not fulfilling our purpose.  Do you understand the problem here? The problem is that WE ARE WASTING OUR TIME!

In Romans 1:21, Paul says, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”  Do you see the irony?  This is like us.  We know God.  We don’t glorify him when our minds are occupied with everything but him.  We don’t give thanks to him because we don’t meditate on the grace he has given.

We need to stop.  We just need to STOP.  And we need to look long and lovingly on the majesty of God.  We become what we behold.  I don’t want my thinking to be futile or my heart to be darkened by distraction.  I want to behold the holiness of my Savior. And I want to become like him.

The focal point of our interests has become OURSELVES--selfie anyone?—but we need to focus on the One that actually is God, not on those things that have become our “gods”.  When we place anything in the spot that God should inhabit, that thing is our idol.  God commands we aren’t to have any of those…but I do, don’t you?  Because I get wrapped up in the here and now and forget that it’s only a vapor.  But what I really need to do is look up, like our fathers of old, and remember that the old, old story is not about me.

IT’S REALLY ALL ABOUT HIM.

Friends, please listen.  I plead.  It’s foolish to run after other fulfillment.  God knows what is best for us.  It’s Himself.  And He’s already given everything we need.  Let’s be captivated by his lavish love and caught up in his grace. 

He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine.  He’s already done it.  It’s called salvation—when he took our sin and gave us his righteousness—remember? 

Think about it. Let it capture your imagination.

It’s awesome. And mind blowing.

He’s just that kind of God.

GET EXCITED!


Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 
Colossians 3:2

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. 

Psalm 84:10

#lavishlove

Guess what?  God loves you. And He loves you lavishly.

You need to believe this.

Why?  Because beliefs determine feelings.  It’s true.  #preachit

People throughout history have believed wrong things. These wrong beliefs, in turn, led to wrong feelings.  These wrong feelings produced dishonor, disunity, and disorder. Sincere feelings do not guarantee honorable activity:

Let’s start at the very beginning…

Think Eve. Or Hitler. Or Jim Jones.  How about Osama Bin Laden? #howboutyou

Or how about in literature?  Romeo and Juliet? Romeo believes that Juliet is dead, feels distraught and kills himself.

How about in everyday life?  Do you ever believe something that isn’t true?  Sometimes I believe my husband doesn’t care about me, so I feel like he’s not a good guy.  But that’s not true.  He is a good guy and has my best in mind.  I must believe the truth.  Because my beliefs determine my feelings. #feelingslie

It’s like that with God, you know.  You don’t feel his lavish love for you because you don’t truly believe He’s good.  You don’t fully trust He’s got your best in mind.  You can pin as many “Jesus thinks I’m a princess” memes on your Pinterest board as you want, but until you think rightly about God, you will not feel treasured.  #truth

So, what will change us?  What will help us believe what is actually true?  Choosing to use that transformed mind the Lord has so graciously given you (Romans 12:2) and making your feelings align with the powerful Truth of God.  When you say, “I have faith in you God,” you are saying, in essence, “My belief is based in what you say is true, God.”  That’s why it is so important to have a Biblically-based worldview.  Much of what you see, hear, even feel, in this world is a lie, but what you read in the Bible is truth. #allthetime

When you have solid theology, it primes your mind to think rightly.  Good books that challenge your thinking and make you have a broader view of God are belief-building.  When God gets bigger in your mind, you hunger for more of Him.  AW Tozer says “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”  If you feed truth into your mind, your believing will be accurate and your feelings will follow. #itsscriptural

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  Luke 6:45

That’s why God makes such a big deal about faith in the Bible.  Faith defined is complete trust and confidence in someone or something.  That’s why, when Mary and Martha believed Jesus was too late to help their now-dead brother, Lazarus, they felt grief stricken and hopeless.  But Jesus showed up, said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God? (Matt 11:40)  God shows His glory to us when we surrender our wrong beliefs to Him. #hesamazing

Want to know HOW God loves you?  Read the Bible.

Want to know WHY God loves you?  Read the Bible. (Spoiler: It’s not because you’re so great)

God has no needs.  He doesn’t love us out of need.  People have needs.  People love out of need.  People have trouble loving other people when those people don’t meet their needs.  God is not a person. #hallelujah

Here’s the scoop guys; God is able to meet ALL your needs according to his riches in glory (Phil 4:9).  But, you don’t believe that do you?  You think someone with skin  here on the earth will be able to meet all of your needs. That is wrong thinking, and it is leading to wrong feeling.  If you believe rightly that God is your need-meeter, feelings of contentedness will follow.  Spiritual laws are no different than natural ones.  If something is true (gravity always pulls me downward), it is always true. It doesn’t matter if you believe it. #trusthim

What can you do to feel loved by God? 

1. Believe that God loves you #hediedinyourplace

2. Stop trying to prove your worth by what you do #youwillneverbegoodenough

3. Believe that you are saved by His grace #freegift

4.  Trust Him enough to give up control #yourlifeisnotyourown

5.  Surrender your identity. Your worth is not in what you do, but in what He has already done #itisfinished

Believe Him!  Enjoy Him!  Let Him Love you Lavishly!

#andlovehimback

#withallyourheartmindandsoul

 And I pray, that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-19

The Broken Man (repost)

I originally published this in 2010, but thought it appropriate for Good Friday 2015 as well...

 "A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross." 

 Mark 15:21

“Abba! Abba! Take us to the city so that we can see all of the festival preparations!”

“And the people! Take us to see the people, too, please?”

“Yes, Alexander. Yes, Rufus. We will go soon. We will walk into the chaos of the Passover celebration! Have you some sandals to wear, Rufus? It is a long journey from Cyrene to Jerusalem.”

“Yes, I have them, Father, and I will not complain.”

“Let us go then, my sons, you must follow me closely. Stay by my side.”

It seems we have been walking for days. My legs are shorter than my brother’s and my father’s, so I must jog a little now and then to keep up with them. My sandals and my legs, covered with dust and dirt, look the same—gray. My mouth is so dry that I can’t spit; I wish I could spit since my mouth feels gray too. I want to ask my Abba when we will get there, but then I stop myself because I remember that I gave my word. I will not complain, and asking about getting there might sound like complaining. I want my Abba to be proud of me—to think I am a man.

Abba said to follow closely. I have not taken my eyes off of him. But now, I am distracted by the high voices I hear in the distance and I look farther ahead. I smell good smells too. I am hungry, but I will not complain. I think we are almost there.

Finally, we enter the village! Bright colors, strange sounds, dirty animals, rushing people! So much activity! But I will stay close. I must not take my eyes off of my father. He knows where we are going and I don’t want to get separated from him.

I see some soldiers with frowns on their faces. Beside them is a man. I think he is sick. Or maybe hurt. His clothes seem dirty and stiff—do they have blood on them? He is carrying a very big piece of timber, but it seems too heavy for him. He looks very tired. I think he has been beaten—see those gashes on his back? He is trying to carry the wood across his chest like he is carrying a baby. I guess it would probably hurt him to carry it on his bleeding shoulders. The log is so heavy, he is just shuffling along. He is not wearing sandals.

I cannot look away. I am supposed to keep my eyes on my father, but I must look at this man. I want to help him! Without asking, I rush into the road where he travels. The mean soldiers stop me and roughly push me aside. My father steps out to grab me, but the biggest soldier grabs him instead!

Alexander yells “Abba!” and starts to cry, but I watch in silence as they make my father take the big timber from the hurting man. I want my father to be proud of me and I do not cry. Now my father is carrying the heavy load. He carries it on his shoulders because they are not bleeding. The soldiers grab the broken man and they pull him quickly along. But he cannot move quickly. His head is down and he is moving slowly and sadly. My father cannot move quickly either and he is scared that he has lost us. I call out to him, “We are here! We will follow you!” and both of them look up—my Abba and the broken man. The broken man looks at me…he is crying… and now I cry.

There are so many people—throngs and throngs of people! Do they not see the broken man? Do they not see my Abba? I am still crying, but my brother is holding my hand. We make it to the top of the hill. It is ugly—this hill—it looks like a skull.

The soldiers take the log from my father and they lay it down beside the broken man who has fallen to the ground. Then, my father rushes back to us. I can smell his sweat as he pulls my brother and I into his scratchy cloak to shield us from the horror.

But I know what is happening. I can hear the hammer. They are pounding big nails into the broken man’s wrists. They are crucifying him. My father told me about crucifying—it is a punishment for criminals. But this broken man is not a criminal. I could tell this broken man was a good man because when he looked at me he cried.

My father is leading us away, but I look back. I see that the broken man has been put up on a cross—his wrists are still nailed to the log my father carried, and his feet are nailed to a post jutting from the ground. I know he is dying. The broken man is dying.

And I am sad. Somehow I know, my spirit has spoken, the broken man is dying for me.

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

Isaiah 53:5

The Richest of Fare

“Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.”

Isaiah 55:2

When my oldest son, Luke, was just two years old, we took him to a toy store and let him pick out a small toy.  Thinking he might be overwhelmed with choices, we led him to miniature tractors, a dump truck, several colorful dinosaurs, and some balls, but we were amazed when he went straight for the plastic food.  After he had picked out a package that contained two tiny pieces of fake bread, some rubber meat that resembled bologna, a piece of flimsy yellow plastic cheese, and a minute bottle of pretend mustard, we went to the register, paid for the item, and got in the car to leave. Luke was impatient as we ripped open the plastic packaging and gave him his new toys; and as we pulled out of the parking lot, we heard a little voice from the back seat declaring, “This not good!”  As I looked back in surprise to his surly declaration, I saw that he had put all of the sandwich pieces together and was trying to eat them—to no avail.  We now knew the real reason for his unique toy selection that day.  

Luke was hungry—thus the reason he picked the toy that looked like food—and only real food would satisfy the craving he had for nourishment.  Aren’t we like that too?  The psalmist says in Psalm 107:9, “[God] satisfies the hungry with good things…” but we go about our days feasting on popular culture, fads, social media, and other people’s opinions.  We hungrily ingest unwholesome images, inappropriate entertainment, and irreverent advertisements without considering what they are doing to our minds and spirits.  Jonathan Edwards, the famous Puritan Preacher used to pray that God might “stamp eternity on [his] eyeballs” so that he could focus on eternal things, not temporary distractions (and I’ll bet you that Pastor Edwards had a life a tad less distracting than ours). 

We need to hunger to see a God that is so glorious that He transforms our lives.  We must dine on the Truth of His word and the privilege of His presence.  We can ‘taste and see that the Lord is good’ (Ps 34:8) by turning our eyes from worthless things and onto He who is Worthy. We have contented ourselves with the “fake food” that our society says will fill us when have a feast of God’s goodness available for the taking.  He invites us to “delight in the richest of fare”.

God gives real food—nourishment for our souls—and Living Water that never runs dry.  And when we begin to understand that only He can meet our deepest needs, we finally say “This not good!” to all that the world offers. As we look toward Easter this week, let’s yearn for Jesus by focusing our imaginations upon Him, His death, and His glorious resurrection. No longer will we dine on cheap imitations but on the true Bread of Life, Jesus Christ.

“How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

Psalm 119:103

Headlamp

This summer, while hiking in Spain, we would often get up at the crack of dawn and get out on the trail.  We did this so that we could get the majority of our miles in before the heat of the afternoon sun.  The only problem with this early departure time was the darkness.  So, on these dark mornings, at least one of us wore a headlamp to illuminate our way. 

If you’ve never worn a headlamp, you may not know that it’s output is relatively small.  Unlike a floodlight, which illuminates for what seems like miles, a headlamp only provides enough light for one to see the next few steps.  Because of this, when we were on the trail, it was important for us to stay close to the light source so we could find our way. 

I think this is the same way God leads his children. He doesn’t illuminate our path with stadium-style lighting; rather, the light he allows is more like a headlamp…so we can only see our next step, then our next, then our next. 

AW Tozer says, "Our insistence upon seeing ahead is natural enough, but it is a real hindrance to our spiritual progress. God has charged Himself with full responsibility for our eternal happiness and stands ready to take over the management of our lives the moment we turn in faith to Him …. "

Maybe this is why God only shows us the very next step.  He does this so we understand our need for His leadership.  If our entire future was illuminated before us, we might decide to use our faulty human reasoning to alter events we think unnecessary.  We might decide that suffering is just too hard. Or we might become fearful and decide He isn’t good.

But He is good.  He’s always good.  And in His infinite goodness and wisdom, He has a plan for our lives—a plan for eternal contentment and supreme satisfaction.  A plan that He can only show us one step at a time. He has a plan to make us more like His Son; He does this by leading us gently, sometimes slowly, but always completely faithfully. 

As we venture into our unpredictable days, transitions and adjustments will abound.  Sometimes the trail will seem unfamiliar, the road too rocky, the darkness too great.  And that, my friend, is when we will need to remember to strap on our headlamps and continue trudging on.

He is the Leader.  We must stay close--and follow step…by step…by step. 

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

John 8:12

List #5: Things my Daddy Taught Me

Today is my Dad's 75th Birthday, so I decided to give him a shout out by reminding him of why he is important to me. 

1.  Practice makes Perfect.

If you want to be good at something, you need to practice.  Whether it be shooting baskets, running fast, remembering people’s names, or memorizing scripture, you can be skilled at these things if you choose.  All it takes is a choice to practice them diligently.  My dad always keeps a little note card in his pocket to help him remember what he is “practicing”: people’s names, quotes he wants to remember, Bible verses, or new jokes he wants to share.  I love this quirky method of bettering himself.

2.  Always be Prepared.

When I left for college as a wide-eyed freshman, my dad presented me with a map (route to Ames highlighted with a marker) and an emergency car kit (extra clothes, candles, crackers, aspirin, coins for a pay phone, candy, an ice scraper, a reflective blanket) that would enable me to survive for days if I got lost and/or had an accident in this barren wilderness called Iowa.  This was in the days before cell phones and my dad wanted to make sure I was ready if an emergency presented itself.  Once, when I was in high school, because I hadn’t yet learned the value of forethought, I ran out of gas while driving home from school.  I walked somewhere to call my Dad and he promptly showed up, handed me a gas can and drove off.  Needless to say, I thought more carefully about preparation that day as I trudged to the nearest gas station alone.

3.  Stay Warm

I know cold.  I grew up in Minnesota with winters that felt like they lasted forever.  And though my sisters and I had to walk to school on these arctic winter mornings, we were fully covered in snowmobile suits, snowmobile boots, scarves, goggles, and mittens that tightened around our forearms.  My dad also made sure we kept ourselves toasty by investing in long underwear for all.  In the 70’s, all thermal undergarments produced were for boys, but this didn’t stop my dad; his three girls wore long johns.  I often got heckled for the long underwear band (that looked exactly like the band on men’s whitey tighty’s) sticking out of my pants since I had tucked my shirt into my thermals to stay warm.  Recently, my dad made himself a vest out of reflective insulation to wear under his winter coat to help him stay comfy and cozy.  He figured if it was good enough for water heaters, it was good enough for him.

4.  Be Resourceful

When I was growing up, my pharmacist father owned and operated a drug store.  Drug stores draw an inordinate amount of old folks through their doors.  Many of these elderly folks needed hearing aids that required batteries, and my dad would offer to change these.  For some unknown reason, he kept the used ones (they look like tiny thick buttons).  One Christmas, he wanted to make his little girls a present, and he fashioned a type of table-top shuffleboard game using the old batteries as the miniature pucks.  Now he uses his ingenuity to create armoires and cabinets from abandoned cupboards and lumber he finds in old houses or buildings.  These resourceful and reinvented creations are a thing of beauty. I think this resourcefulness/creativity is my favorite thing about my dad…and myself :)

5.  Be Yourself

My dad never really cared what people—even his daughters—thought of him.  Now, I see this as an admirable thing; as a kid, I was just embarrassed that he wore black socks with sandals and an old blazer while watching TV.  He even carried this quality into his profession as a pharmacist.  One might think that someone who owned a drug store probably just dispensed and sold medicine (and hearing aid batteries) to sick folks, but no, my dad sold wood stoves too.  Yes, wood stoves in Arrow Drug.  You see, my dad was sort of a wannabe survivalist type who enjoyed heating his home with off-the-grid power.  His heat of choice came from the wood stove in our basement.  Because he believed that wood stoves could be just as prescriptive for people as could medicine, he became a distributer of Ashley Wood Burning Stoves—sold in the comfort of his very own pharmacy. Nowadays, my dad doesn’t sell wood stoves anymore, but because he is fully himself, he has no trouble wearing his reflective vest or heartily eating his specially designed lunch of instant mashed potatoes mixed with green beans.  Yum!

6.  Take Care of Pets

Since my birth I have been a pet lover.  And secretly, I think my Dad is too.  One of my earliest memories is bringing home one of our first pets, a cat that we named Tasha (my mom actually ran over this cat, but we got another soon after which we also named Tasha).  But because I was never allowed to house my cats indoors, my dad made elaborate structures to help them survive the arctic-like winters of my childhood (see #3 above).  They had little log-cabin-looking houses with carpet-lined interiors, and raised platforms with heat lamps to warm them; my dog (who was actually my dad’s pet) had a pretty fancy house too, built into our garage with a little ramp and a swinging door.  Even now, my dad loves me by taking care of my pets.  My current three cats and a dog all have their own fully equipped animal “penthouses” in our detached garage that they rarely leave because they are so cozy and coddled.

7.  Be Willing to Learn

My parents amaze me in their still-unquenchable thirst for knowledge.  After my dad retired, you could find him reading, and reading, and reading; so much reading, so much learning.  This truly inspires me to keep on educating myself.  And rather than run from technology, my dad has embraced it, learning about woodworking, science, theology, history, and sometimes cake-baking from websites, blogs, YouTube, and yes, even Pinterest. 

8.  Respect Property

As a kid, I was taught to respect property.  My dad said if we took care of things, they would last longer…and they did.  When I got a new softball glove, my dad showed me how to write my name on it with a permanent marker (we wrote our names on EVERYTHING in case we lost them), get a soft cloth and coat the glove with mink oil to protect it.  Then when the oil sunk in, we put a baseball in the palm of the glove and put rubber bands around the “hand” of the glove—as if the glove were grasping the ball—to form it into the right shape for catching.  When we weren’t playing catch, but instead just hanging out indoors, we had to wear slippers or little “socklet” things over our real socks so we wouldn’t wear them out, because you know how many millions of miles you walk when you are in your own home laying on the couch watching Brady Bunch. 

9.  Be Tough

Though I am sure my dad would have liked to have a son, God saw fit that he got only daughters.  And my dad seemed completely content with his three little girls.  However, this did not mean that his daughters would be weaklings…in fact, just the opposite, he taught us to be tough.  When I would fall down as a kid, or my sisters would tickle me until I cried, my dad would remind me that I was “tough as nails”.  When we moved to another home (which we did often), his girls were expected to help move washers, dryers, pianos, wood stoves, safes—whatever was on the truck was fair game.  When I was in a sport and wanted to quit because I was uncoordinated and awkward, he reminded me that I was “tough as nails” and that I would stay out for the season.  Even now, when I have to scramble up sheer cliffs in Texas on vacation with my family or when I get stuck in elevators in Italy, I remember that I am “tough as nails” and I make it out alive…so far at least.

10.  Choose to Leave a Legacy

Though always a church-goer, my dad became a true Christ-follower somewhere in his forties (right, Dad?), and has since been on a mission to tell everyone he meets about his faith, his church, his changed life, his God—just ask the checker in HyVee…or the woman handing out samples at Sam’s Club…or the young gal at 24 Hour Fitness…or the Executive Council that he coffees with several times each week.  My dad knows what he is here for and where he is going.  The purpose for his life has become very clear to himself and to us, his family.  Whenever we gather for holidays or reunions, it is my dad who says thank you (now, often with tears in his eyes) for his family, his many blessings, and for Jesus. Even now, at 75, he is a new creation.

I love you Dad, and I love what you have become—a mighty, but gentle, man of God.

Happy Birthday!

Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.

Proverbs 14:26

List #4: Christmas Sanity Savers for Young Moms

I originally wrote this list when I had four little children underfoot--maybe 15 or more years ago--and shared it with all my young mom friends.  I posted it first in my blog in 2011 but decided to revive it  (and update it) once again to help y'all who are young mamas now.  Remember to delight in your kiddos. They are only little for a short season of time.

25 SANITY SAVERS

Instead of sitting the kids in front of the TV to watch The Polar Express (again) while you finish up those holiday projects, check this list…and put your little “helpers” to work!

Have the kids…

1. Make Christmas cards for friends and family.

2. Make a paper chain out of construction paper to hang on the Christmas tree.

3. Make a garland of ribbon and pretzels to hang on the Christmas tree.

4. Play a board game with their siblings.

5. Play in the snow…or in our case, the grass!

6. Make Christmas cookies with play-dough.

7. Dance to Christmas music.

8. Do homework… “How many balls are on the tree?” How many cans are in the pantry?”

9. Have a tea party with water and animal crackers.

10. Pretend they’re a grown-up and plan their family’s Christmas or vacation.

11. Look at the Christmas catalog/store flyer and circle all the toys they like.

12. Make up actions to Christmas songs.

13. Color Christmas pictures and deliver them to elderly neighbors or to a nursing home.

14. Play in the bathtub in swimsuits.

15. Make stuff from boxes—a bus, a sleigh, a castle, a washer, a doll bed.

16. Make a fort under the card table.

17. Look at old photo albums or at photos on the computer.

18. Pretend it’s Easter and hide plastic eggs. Remember your basket!

19. Put on a Christmas puppet show.

20. Play Post Office with an old box, paper, stickers, and some envelopes.

21. Wash and dry dishes for your Mom.

22. Make up and perform a skit. Record it with a camcorder or phone if Mom says yes.

23. Watch and do an exercise video.

24. Play fix-it shop with an old clock or radio (ask Mom first).

25. String beads or macaroni to make a necklace for Mom for Christmas!

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
   and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
They will be a garland to grace your head
   and a chain to adorn your neck.

Proverbs 1:8-9

List #3: Lessons God Taught Me in 2014

God is constantly changing the way I think, and this year my Gentle Schoolmaster has taught me much.  Let me see if I can recall just a few of His lessons…

1.  Surrender

When I surrender my plans for my life and agree to live the life He has given me here and now, I am actually more content.  When I give up what I naturally desire, and deny my own willful ways, I find joy because I have escaped the bondage of myself.  I don’t have to do what I want because I am freed to do what is right.

2.  Identity

When I try to find my identity in anything other than Jesus, I am anxious and dissatisfied.  For a time, I was a mom of young children who needed me, but when those children grew and became independent, I became unsettled because my identity had been placed in motherhood, not in Christ alone.  Then I became a runner, and my identity was placed in how far and how fast I could run.  When my running stopped consuming me, I felt uneasy because if I wasn’t an athlete, what was I?  I then decided that I would be a writer since I was no longer a young mom or a successful runner, and this writing, it satisfied me…for a time.  But when I had less opportunity to write, I was constantly anxious because I was a writer but I wasn’t honing my craft.  If I thought of myself as a writer but never wrote, I felt bad and wrong since I was not doing what I was “made” for.  The fault with all of these methods of “finding myself” lies in the fact that I am made to bring God, not myself, glory. I am not here on earth to find myself.  I am here to acclaim the God who saved me.  I am here to make His name great.  My identity is to be found in Christ, not in what I do.

3.  Focus

The other night, I attended my son’s band concert, and before it began, while all the instruments were still warming up, chaos and disorganization reigned.  The clarinets practiced scales while the trombones belted low notes.  The drummers practiced paradiddles (yes, this is a real thing.  I am a former drummer), as the flutes trilled melody.  The din of all of them together assaulted my ears.  But then, as the conductor took his place on the podium and as all the eyes focused on him, the unorganized noises instantly became a beautiful song—with each instrument performing its appropriate role.  Isn’t this how it is with us?  We focus on a million things and our lives seem confusing and overwhelming.  But then, as we learn to keep our eyes on our Conductor, we begin to play our appropriate role in the Kingdom, and the very place that God has put us becomes a beautiful melody of praise to Him.

4.  Presence

When my oldest son Luke was just a little boy, he loved to set up armies of plastic green soldiers.  In fact, he spent so much time setting up his army men that he never played with them.  The process became so important that the fun of having a virtual, plastic battle was sacrificed.  Sometimes I am like this.  I get so caught up planning the details of my life, or trying to find a way to make a task more efficient that I forget to be present in the moment.  I forget to find joy in the process.  I often recall the quote by John Lennon that warns, “Life is what happens when you are making other plans.”  God wants me to live right now, in this moment.  I can plan, but I can’t ruminate and become anxious about my unknown future.  God’s got it.  THIS is the day that the Lord has made.  I WILL rejoice and be glad in it.

5.  Food

Each morning when I go out and feed the pets (a job I inherited from my new college freshman, Shay), I am reminded of the verse in Psalm 145, “All creatures look to you to give them their food at the proper time.”  When the animals hear the garage door rise and see me descending down the hill, they know it is time to eat and that I will give them what they need for the day.  This daily reminder of their trust in, and total dependence on, me leads me towards my Savior every time.  I often want to grow faster and understand more deeply the truths of God NOW.  The painfully slow process of sanctification is discouraging to me.  But my Father knows what I need and when I need it.  If He revealed all of His will for me in a torrent, I might become overwhelmed.  And if He made me unable to comprehend any of His precepts, my spirit would be malnourished.  He feeds me what I need when I need it.  I must trust in that promise.  As always, my Father knows best.

He must become greater; I must become less.  

John 3:30

List #2: Things My Mama Taught Me

In honor of my Mama, and on her birthday today, I want to share with you '10 things I learned from my Mom'...

1.  Productive people get up early.

My Mom has always been an early riser.  During my teen years, this was just an annoyance since she would greet my night-owl self with her spunk and vigor when I arose.  But as I grew older, and especially when I had kids, I learned that there was great value in those wee hours.  The quiet and stillness of the early morning has helped me develop a habit of sitting with God or going out for a run when the sun is just rising.  And many days, I even have my supper started or planned before 8 in the morning—that’s like my mama too.

2.  Always be hungry for knowledge.

Education was important for my Mom.  Not only did she earn a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree in Education itself, she chose to read and study and mentally challenge herself so that she was well versed in a variety of subjects.  Because I observed her reading many different genres of books and taking classes when I was young, I am now drawn to “read myself to intelligence” like she has.  One time I remember asking her how she learned to sew; she said, “I read the pattern and figured it out.”  I have since “read the pattern” on lots of things in life and figured them out just like my mom.

3.  Don’t be afraid to invest in people unlike yourself.

My Mom and Dad were always really good about inviting people into our home.  Most of these people were struggling in some way and my parents would help them by fixing them meals, watching their children, offering to provide a service, or just loving them.  Many a family probably credits my parents with helping them turn their lives around.  My parents taught me to love the “untouchables” and not be afraid of them.  When I was 7, my Mom brought home one of the high school students that she taught, and Bruce became my foster brother.  I loved my long-haired, chain-smoking brother because my Mom showed me he belonged to us.

4.  Marriage is worth doing well.

Kids listen to and watch their parents all the time (believe it or not!), and one thing I remember hearing come from my mother’s mouth is, “I don’t just love your Dad, I really, really like him too.”  This had a great impact on me because I knew that my Dad sometimes hurt my mom’s feelings and that she often did things with him just because he wanted to do them (read “cutting wood in the Minnesota winters”). But she had chosen to admire and like my dad even if he wasn’t perfect.   That gave me great security.  I don’t recall my parents ever having any major arguments in front of us, and I remember that my Dad would never allow us to speak disrespectfully to our Mom.  These things made their marriage worth replicating in my eyes.  Thanks Mom and Dad.

5.  Don’t take life too seriously.

My mom was always, and still is, what I term a “fun Mom”.  We had delightful birthday parties and themed meals on special days.  We made candles from crayons one snow day and had an awesome Halloween party at our house with peeled grapes for eyeballs and cold spaghetti for brains.  We always had homemade velvet dresses at Christmas and sister-matching outfits at Easter too.  She liked to sew, and I liked it when she sewed because she let me play with the buttons.  Speaking of buttons, my mom sewed a button eye on one of my teddy bears when his original eye was missing, and when I said that it looked funny, she told me he was winking.  Humor was always present in my family with a bit of whimsy added in.  We laughed a lot. I liked that.  I still like it.

6.  Walk quickly.

My mama is a very fast walker.  I remember jogging beside her as a young child and thinking this was normal.  My children also jogged beside me because, guess what?  I walk fast.  When you walk quickly, you look confident…and you get places fast.  My Mom has always had a sense of purpose about her and if you don’t hurry up, she will probably beat you to the finish. 

7.  Make your home a haven.

Our home was a place of warmth and comfort; I was often lulled to sleep at night with the sounds of my mom working in the kitchen preparing something for the next day or cleaning up the dishes from supper.  She and my dad were present most of the time and available when we needed them. I knew that if I was scared in the night, I could run to their room and lay between them in their massive bed and feel like nothing bad would ever happen again.

8.  Make mealtime an important part of the day.

My mom was really great about having a family mealtime every day.  I thought it strange that some families would eat in front of the TV or individually.  Family meal time, for us, was probably the most important part of our day.  We talked and shared and learned table manners and listened to my Dad’s stories about his customers.  We sat around after the meal just to visit some more.  We could only do this because my Mom was a super-duper pre-planner and always thought out our menu beforehand (or grabbed something she had frozen earlier in the week )to feed us.  Mealtimes at the Haverkamps have also defined our family culture.  I think all of our kids would say that one of their favorite times with the family is eating a meal together.

9.  Retain your individuality.

Even when we were young, my mom didn’t just define herself by motherhood.  She had hobbies that she enjoyed and pursued; whether it was helping stroke victims learn to function again, crocheting jute plant holders, making fabric wreaths at Christmas, acting in Community Theater plays, or delivering meals to elderly folks, she was “all in” because she identified herself as Patty, and not just Mommy.  She worked part time when we were young and full time as we got older; teaching kids was important to her so she pursued her dream.  I have often been tempted to define myself as “just a mom”, and though that’s OK for a time, as my kids grow up and need me less and less, I am pleased I have found other interests outside of this role—these interests and skills I have developed have eased the transition into this new season of my life.

10.  Enjoy the Grace of God.

My Mom understands how very blessed she is.  She is grateful for the saving Grace that Jesus gives her.  She is awed by God’s provision for her everyday.  Her thankful attitude carries into just about everything she does because she knows that it is by the Grace of God that she is who she is: She is a child of the King.  She is dearly loved.  And I am the one who I truly rich because of her.

Happy Birthday Mom! 

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…

Proverbs 31:28