STOP IT!

There is an old Bob Newhart skit where a woman enters his office (he is a psychologist) and tells him that she has one great fear; being buried alive in a box. After she elaborates and asks the doctor what she should do, he tells her, “I am going to say two words to you right now, and I want you to listen to them very very carefully, then take them out of the office with you and incorporate them into your life . . . STOP IT!” 

I have watched this over and over and laugh out loud at the doctor’s lack of finesse and empathy. But recently, because I am finally recognizing my constant negative feedback loop regarding myself and others, I have heard God saying, STOP IT! He doesn’t tell me to stop these damaging thoughts about myself and others because he lacks finesse or empathy like Bob Newhart. He is trying to change my thinking because he is sanctifying me. Sanctification means that he is making me into the very best Tori that I can be–the Tori he envisioned even before I was born. 

Because I have Christ’s Spirit in me, I can identify thoughts that originate from my sinful nature instead of my new nature, but I have no obligation to obey them because Scripture tells me that my old nature is no longer in charge: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”-- 2 Corinthians 5:17

When I notice that I am thinking about myself or another with dishonor or judgment, I can stop those thoughts in their tracks, and realize that those are the thoughts of the enemy, not God. I can tell Satan to STOP IT! He won’t win with me anymore. I don’t have to obey those thoughts–or him. I can choose to set my mind on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable . . .” (Philippians 4:8). 

I am a child of God, so I don’t have to be a prisoner of my own wrong thinking. I don’t have to allow Satan to have victory in my thought life. I can take charge by telling myself to STOP IT! when I head down the well-worn path of negative thinking. This will not only change my thinking but my feelings about myself and others.

Sin no longer can dominate me because I have died to it. And now my new self is being made into the image of my Creator. The thoughts I have about myself and others should be hope-filled and not condemning because Romans 8:1 tells me that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. How liberating!

It seems like after nearly forty years of following Jesus that I would recognize the power I possess as his child, but God only gives us understanding of his ways little by little, and sometimes those little epiphanies show themselves when we need them most. God has been faithful to lead me in the past. He will faithfully lead me now. When he shows me my sinful thinking, I need to choose to STOP IT!, repent it, and run back into the safe arms of my sweet Jesus.

 

Why I Focused on Calvary this Christmas

During Advent this year I read through the book of Luke. But rather than stop and focus on Luke 2 where the birth of Jesus is celebrated, I slowed my pace as I reached Luke 22 and 23, where the suffering and the death of Jesus is recorded. 

In the movie Talladega Nights (which I am NOT endorsing), the main character, Ricky, prays over the family meal the evening before he competes in a car race: “Dear Tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny, little fat balled up fists...Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?”

Although Ricky’s prayer to baby Jesus is hilarious, I think the words actually encapsulate the way so many of us think. We love to focus on Christ’s birth with all the excitement and joy of that moment, but we must remember, baby Jesus grew up. His infant sweetness was swallowed up in his agonizing surrender. His newborn cries for his mother were drowned out by a desperate cry for his Father not to forsake him. His soft baby skin, once pink and perfect, was torn and pierced for our transgressions. The breath, which caused his small chest to rise and fall, ceased on a cross at Calvary.

It is good and right that we celebrate the birth of Jesus. God broke into history, clothed himself with flesh and laid down his crown for a cradle. Jesus lived in our world! He loved his mama, played with his siblings, worked with his earthly father until his back hurt from bending over the workbench. He felt and dreamed and laughed and cried. He was human in all of its essence and God in all of his glory. 

When we celebrate Christmas only by looking at Advent, we miss the unbelievable reality that Christ lived–for 33 years–perfectly in righteousness so he could die perfectly for our sin. The “baby version Jesus” started his life being laid in a manger of hay but ended it being laid in a tomb of stone. But he didn’t stay there. He defeated death so we could have life.

If we focus on Jesus' birth without pondering Jesus' death, and resurrection, we miss the gut punch of the gospel: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Jesus was a baby. Jesus was a man. And Jesus is a Savior who willingly died in our place. When we believe in him, we get the gift of life eternal! It’s free! 

But it wasn’t free for him: the sweet baby in the manger at Christmas grew to be the suffering Savior on the cross at Calvary. Thank God for his wonderful Gift. 

Welcome 2025! I'm back!

 

After a long absence from my blog, I am motivated to gain more regular writing rhythms and posting here will help create a good cadence in my life. And speaking of my life, here are some things God is teaching me right now.

Five things I learned began to learn in 2024 (and hope to continue to learn in 2025)

He must become greater; I must become less.  – John 3:30

1.   I am learning to be SMALL

Not small in stature. I am still all of 5’10”, tall for a woman, but small in my own mind. And small in my accomplishments. There was a time when I wanted a bigger life, bigger responsibilities, bigger acclaim. I wanted to be known for something I could do really well. But through hiding in my Savior this year, I have found out that in him, I am big to God. When you are big to God, it doesn’t matter if you are small to everyone else or even yourself. Mother Teresa also made this observation when she famously quoted, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” I can lovingly do even the very smallest things –whether writing or editing or making a meal for my family – that God has placed before me and be satisfied because they are mine. 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

    my God, in whom I trust.” 

– Psalm 91:1-2

2. I am learning to HIDE

For so many years in my life, I wanted to be seen–seen as smart, seen as organized, seen as clever and having it all together. These things were important to me, and people’s admiration made me feel validated and valued. I still desire that my voice be heard and my ideas understood, but the gospel has shown me that if I put God in his rightful place by making much of him, not myself, I can be satisfied in the simple fact that I am his child. I am still flattered by the occasional notice or ‘atta girl, but the cravings for people’s approval has diminished. I don’t need to be noticed or approved because I believe I am a child of the King and that is what makes me valuable.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. – James 4:7-8a

3. I am learning to RESIST

This year God has shown me how often I let Satan infiltrate my thoughts. The enemy subtly convinces me to feel sorry for myself and hold grudges against others. When I fall prey to his words, I feel justified when I judge others. When I listen to the call to selfishness rather than selflessness, I make myself big and make others–and God–small, and I walk the road of superiority rather than humility. But when I recognize this warfare and resist it with the armor of God (Ephesians 6), all I have to do is stand my ground. The Lord fights for me; he is, after all, the final victor in the cosmic battle (Revelation 21). If I choose to think God’s thoughts about whatever is true or right or lovely, rather than Tori’s thoughts about others perceived slights and offenses,  I can truly demonstrate calvary’s love. I can give all my hurts to God who sees and records all of my tears. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4. I am learning to LOVE

         I have known great love–first through the tender care of my mother and the safety provided by my father. Then, as a child with my sisters and friends, and even my cats. I experienced a thrilling love when I met Brent and married him–what a whirlwind that was! When we had Luke, I understood love in a whole new way, and the intensity of it scared me; this mother-love only continued as we had Tess, Shay, and Cole. And then came the grandbabies: my love continues to grow without limit and to surprise me by its constancy. But this year, I learned about love beyond reason or emotion. I finally understood that Christ’s calvary love should change me. Calvary love: the love that gave up everything to redeem me, that lost everything to give me life, that degraded itself and hung naked on a cross, that suffered unimaginable pain so I could be whole. That love, that LOVE, should so flood my soul. It should temper my mouth and my mind. The amazement of that unselfish act should make all my idle words quiet. The calvary vision should change me so I can love like Christ–even when I hurt, even when I am neglected, even when I feel ignored. When I ruminate on calvary’s love, I can more easily embody patience, humility and honor and more quickly exude joy not anger. 

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,

    shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

–Proverbs 4:18

5. I am learning to ACCEPT

       Over the course of my life, I have developed a negative feedback loop. The chatter inside my head–often aided and abetted by Satan– tells me I am a failure, a disappointment, stupid. These are not from the God of hope, but from a sin-tainted mind in need of adjustment. This adjustment comes from time spent in the Word where I remind myself of what is true: even though I do sometimes fail, disappoint, and lack clarity, Jesus never did. I can live within my imperfections because he was perfect in my place. When I surrender to him in faith, I can base my self-worth on his perfect life, death, and resurrection, and I can accept who I am even though sanctification is painfully slow. God promises if I faithfully walk beside him, he will continue to work on me. But I won’t be perfect until I meet him face to face. What a wonderful day that will be!

In 2025, I know that God’s gentle wooing and enormous patience with me will continue. If I am satisfied in smallness, and if I choose to resist the devil and to demonstrate Calvary’s love, I will be able to revel in who God made me right now and delight in the Tori he sees fit to reveal.