I just realized it today—the third day of this Holy Week. As I was sitting in my chair writing in my journal about Lent—normally my favorite season--not affecting me much this year, God spoke. And He brought to mind a memory.
One time when Cole was just a little boy—probably 5 or so—he was watching TV when a “Hooked on Phonics” commercial came into view. After he listened to their pitch, he turned around and yelled toward the kitchen, “Hey Mom, only one phone call and I could be reading in 4 weeks!”
What makes this memory funny is that Cole really believed that if I made one phone call and we spent the required 20 minutes a day on this program, he would immediately become a speedy reader. And God, being the gentle, loving Father that He is, made me laugh at that remembrance before I grieved over my neglect of Him (God, not Cole) lately. Here’s my side of our conversation:
I just realized what I have been doing to You and why I haven’t been receiving much revelation from You. I have been trying to spend the least amount of time with you that I can and still stay connected. I have been acting like you are a “Hooked on Phonics” program or one of those “only 6 minutes a day” fitness programs that we both know don’t work. I have been treating You as just another project to check off my list and feel good about. No wonder I feel as if our relationship has gotten surfacey of late. It’s because I have not allowed you to be first and foremost in my life. I have not spent time—lots of precious time--investing in Who you are; learning how valuable You are. And because of that, You have not been able to change me into who You want me to be. No wonder this Lenten season has not been powerful to me. I have acted as if I have no time for You. I have treated You as an intrusion and not the King that You are. Forgive me Lord Jesus for not believing that I really need You.
And God’s side of the conversation pretty much went like this:
Yep. You’re right. You make time for what you think is important. I am God and there is no other.
Sometimes, I talk a lot more than He does.
But even when He is a God of few words, they’re always right words. And I need to listen…‘cause being hooked on Jesus takes a whole lot more than 20 minutes a day.
It takes my whole life.
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.