Thursday, October 21, 2010


Please don't stop reading because I haven't been posting much. I have been very, very busy and very, very tired, and at the end of the day, I feel like my creativity quotient is just about nil.

Nil is a word, by the way, that means "nothing", "nada", "none". I know this because it is a word my mother used to use. She used to say things like "your chances for getting to go there...or do that...or get that...are just about nil." She didn't say these things because she was a sourpuss, she said "nil" to me because I was an irresponsible teenager who often could not be trusted with important information or events--and sometimes my behavior didn't earn me a lot of points--if you know what I mean. So I learned that "nil" pretty much meant--"It's not gonna happen."

But...I don't want nil to mean that now--the "not gonna happen" part. I want nil to spur me on to write more and better entries. I want nil to come peeking over my shoulder and say, "So, what are you thinkin' about tonight? What can you share that will help others?" Rather than discourage me when my mind is feeling empty, I want nil to push me to greater creativity--writing, when I think I have nothing to write--wondering, when my spirit feels like vegging. I want this "nothing" to become an opportunity for me to create "something" when I am not necessarily inspired. I want to go beyond myself and what I think I can do. May "nil" be my muse of spontaneity rather than my excuse to go to bed. that I have thoroughly confused most of you, I will quit. Now, I will go to bed. Because nil has kept me awake. Nil has inspired me to sit down and write. And now I am done with my task. Thanks nil!


"He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding prospers."

Proverbs 19:8

1 comment:

  1. Tori, your mother does not remembering using the word, "nil" that often during your teenage years. However, it is rewarding to know that you were listening and recalling some of what was said. It is inspiring to see how God changed a "sometimes irresponsible" teenager into an amazing and Godly wife and Mother; admired and respected by all who know her......including her parents. Love, MOM