In Christ Alone

I have been going through the Beth Moore Bible Study, "Breaking Free" with a friend this spring. We have been talking often about our job as Christ-followers to empty ourselves of "us." When we empty ourselves of "us" and fill our spirits with Jesus, we actually become the person that God really wants us to be. Sound confusing? It is a little, but let me make it more clear for you by sharing with you an email I received from Jenn.

I met Jenn late last spring just before she gave birth to her third child. A few weeks previous to our meeting, Jenn's husband, Billy, who many thought was a believer, decided to rebel against God's authority over his life. Billy had met another woman when he was away for a 5 week military assignment and he called Jenn during that time to inform her that he would not be coming home, but would be leaving her and their two (almost three) preschool-aged children. Needless to say, Jenn was shocked and life has permantly changed for her family. Billy obtained a quick divorce and married his mistress and now plans to move to another state to be with her.

Given the above history, anyone sane would say that Jenn had every right in the world to be bitter. She was the one wronged. She was the one left holding the bag...and the baby...and the house payment. She lost. Billy won. Right? Wrong.

As Christ followers, we have agreed to become "living sacrifices" unto God. Being a "sacrifice" means giving up. Yourself. Emptying you of you. Having no rights anymore. When we become living sacrifices, we become holy and pleasing to God--and it is only then--after we give ourselves to His service--that He can fully fill us up with His Holy Spirit. In doing this we are the true winners. This is SO hard to remember when we are the one who is wronged. It is even harder to put into practice...but it can be done. Which brings me back to Jenn. Jenn has emptied herself of Jenn. Jenn has filled herself with Christ. How else could she write the following email?

I may be meeting Billy’s new wife, Sara, tomorrow in the late afternoon. He’s moving to Ohio to live with Sara after he drops off Lily and Lucas to my home. My prayer is that every piece of me that has ugliness toward those two would be permanently erased, and that I can show Sara the love of Christ. I know it doesn’t mean being her best friend or condoning what has happened. But to be conformed to Christ means to show her love despite what she has done to me and my children. I know that through the power of Christ, one life could be changed forever for the kingdom of God. This is not about me. This is about an opportunity to save, renew or influence a soul. And if nothing else, I’ll have examined my own heart and allowed God to cleanse it, and my children may have a moment that will remain with them for life, seeing that God can take away bitterness and produce love beyond what a human being is capable of. They can look back and remember and example of the power of God at work.

I thank you all for your prayers during the past year. I now covet your prayers for Billy’s and Sara’s hearts to be softened, and for my heart to be transformed yet again. The moment his car pulls into the driveway begin a critical moment in time. I am willing to surrender all of myself…but there is still ugliness in my heart that needs to be removed. “Lead me to the cross, where Your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Oh lead me, lead me to the cross.”

For God’s glory!

Jenn

Only through Christ can Jenn have Love this perfect. Only through Christ can Jenn think this clearly when she is hurting. Only through Christ can Jenn's feelings of hate be transformed into such Mercy. Only through Christ can Jenn ask for blessing on her enemies rather than revenge. Only through Christ is Jenn made more like the self God designed her to be.

In Christ, there is freedom, not bondage. In Christ, there is hope, not desperation. In Christ, their is clarity not confusion. In Christ there is wholeness for our broken, bandaged souls.

I was so struck by Jenn's authenticity, and brokeness and Strength in her weakness. Christ is being so clearly reflected in her life, and her love, and now...her legacy.

Thank you Jenn.
Thank you God.


In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

"In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling."

Exodus 15:13

He's Got You Covered

Well, things are looking up and Brent is home from the hopital--where they keep you up all night in their attempt to heal you--and I am exhausted from all the scariness of last week. Today, I just layed on the futon in the porch for the better part of the afternoon and finished the book , Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. In the chapter called Taking A Stand, they speak of Martin Luther:

"It wasn't Martin Luther's first stand when he nailed Ninety-Five Theses to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg. He had learned to trust God with his life long before he was summoned before the Holy Roman Emperor and given the choice to either recant or be branded a heretic and thrown outside the protection of the law. There, before the most powerful men of his day, he said,

"Here I stand. I can do no other. So help me God."

"The God Luther prayed to had been faithful many times before. And whether Luther would lose his life or keep it, he knew that his God would be faithful again."

Oh what faith Luther had! I want to be able to stand in this glittery world, with all of its charms, where I am not popular, but peculiar, and say "Here I stand. I can do no other. So help me God." I want to trust my Father so fully that my soul relaxes in His presence. As the Psalmist says in Psalm 132:2,

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

A weaned child is old enough to understand that she can trust her mother. She doesn't need to clamor and fuss when she is hungry or uncomfortable. She only needs to wait, and hold her mother's hand. She has spent so much time in her mother's presence that she knows that her mother will always protect her and do what is best for her. Her mother would never hurt her. A weaned child knows this about her mother and so her childish, trusting soul can relax in the presence of her authority. She doesn't have to worry--only trust.

I want to relax in God's authority. I want to be able to take a stand when I know that I should for the simple reason that it is right in God's eyes. I don't want to care about man's judgements of me. I want to be so dependent on my Father, so trusting of Him, that I can do no other than stand for Him. As Troy said in the service on Saturday night, "Relax, be quiet, and trust in God. If you are walking with Him, He's got you covered."

He's got you covered. Do you believe that? Do I believe that? Does my life reflect that I am a weaned child? Am I willing to take a stand in this deceptive world?

I am.

I can do no other.

So help me God.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it."

Mark 8:34-35

Therefore We Will Not Fear

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." John 14:1

I read John 14 late last week and for some reason, God kept bringing this verse into my head. I said, "OK, God, I don't think that my heart is troubled, but I will remember that." But for the rest of the week it haunted me. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I thought maybe God didn't want me to be nervous about Luke's upcoming Man Trip to hike in the Colorado mountains, so I told God that Luke was His, and I really have had much peace about the trip. I decided to trust since Jesus said I should.

Then I thought maybe I wasn't supposed to worry when my kids got sick with a strange never-ending virus. I decided He loved them more than I did and that He was the Great Physician.

But, finally, I thought, "Now I understand" when my Mom and Dad brought a flustered Cole home from a little outing and they told me he had collapsed (He's OK now, but we still don't know why he fainted). For crying out loud, he's a 12 year old boy--little boys don't pass out!!! This time, I REALLY wanted to worry and think about all the uneasy possibilities in my mind, but Jesus commanded me, "Do not let your hearts be troubled." It was a choice I had to make to be obedient--to be "all in" for Him. I made it and decided to let God decide the future.

Today, though, I've decided that the real reason God kept bringing that verse to mind was to show me that I wasn't really trusting Him with EVERYTHING. Today I took a very sick Brent into the Emergency Room at 4:30 a.m. He was burning with fever, shaking uncontrollably, and vomiting all the way to the hospital. And I didn't know what was wrong with him. I was so scared and my heart was truly troubled. I was allowing the building anxiousness to trouble my heart and I didn't know how to take control of the panic --the panic I had so logically set aside in my previous few challenges. How could I trust God with this rock of a man, my leader, my love? How could I give up control and let him get sicker?!! I had to do something, so I rushed him to the doctor--and that was a good decision--but I was determined that he would get well right away. The doctor would treat him and we would head home before the kids went to school. Everything would be fine.

But it wasn't. Brent was in pain. Brent's fever was climbing. Brent had pneumonia! Brent had to be admitted to the hospital, and he's still there now. It's scary for me to have my stability removed from me.

As I sat on a bench outside the hospital tonight, waiting for the valet to retrieve my car, I felt very alone. And then the verse came bounding into my head, "Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." I felt alone because I didn't trust that God could take care of this situation. I really didn't believe He had things under control. But, He does you know.

So...I have decided to not let my heart be troubled. I have decided to do what Jesus said and trust in Him and trust in His Father. After all, why shouldn't I? I have seen how he has carried me in the past. Why shouldn't I trust He will do the same with me in the future? Even the uncertain future. I don't want to be like the forgetful, ungrateful Israelites who, within one generation, forgot that God parted the sea for them. Oswald Chambers speaks Truth when he says "God will cause us to 'dwell in prosperity,' keeping us at ease, even in the midst of tribulation, misunderstanding, and slander, if our 'life is hidden with Christ in God.' We rob ourselves of the miraculous, revealed truth of this abiding companionship with God."

"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:3

"God is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."

Psalm 46:10

Today I committed to make God my REFUGE, my STRENGTH and my HELP--not just sometimes, but all times. Let's trust Him together.

Do not let your hearts be troubled.

May Madness

No, I haven't disappeared. But I have been REALLY busy with concerts, concerts, and more concerts, track banquets, senior banquets, scholarship banquets, baccalaureate, getting ready for Luke's open house, hosting Luke's open house, cleaning up from Luke's open house, attending other grad parties, helping with other grad parties, finding an orange tie for Luke for graduation, graduation itself, track meets, making breakfast burritos for the shuttle hurdle team, making cookies for the shuttle hurdle team, buying gummy bears for the shuttle hurdle team, 3 days of state track, mission trip meetings, church camp meetings, Rosebud meetings, excruciatingly hot all-day field trips with Cole, encouraging Luke to write Graduation Thank You's, feeding and watering a friend's very stinky chickens and shredding newspaper to put in their coop, getting Luke immunized for his China trip, helping Luke get ready for his Chicago trip, helping Luke get ready for his "Man Trip" to Colorado to go hiking (this happens less than 12 hours after he returns home from Chicago), watering and trying to save my new landscaping, going on a mother/daughter hike at Ledges with Shay, finishing 5 days of Bible Study in one sitting, doing laundry from guests, doing laundry for my family, washing and hanging out sheets, then re-making the beds--nice and tight, so that my girls can feel like burrito babies when they sleep, moving my niece out of her dorm, attending the neighbor girl's wedding, collecting and purging all the clutter from my house for the church garage sale, cleaning my very messy house every Monday, running multiple miles with Tess to prepare for our upcoming Dam to Dam 20K, de-worming the cat, de-ticking the dog, going on constant grocery shopping trips for my family, trying to prepare creative meals from the leftovers from the meal I prepared last night, going to the eye doctor, going to the chiropracter, going to get a massage :), preparing for our Memorial Day work weekend at the Lake, buying new flip flops for the girls so they will stop stealing mine, and making muffins for family breakfast! (Plus, I have been reading the fiction stories out of the New Yorkers that Luke brought home for me from his school Library. He bought them each for 10 cents. I feel so loved).

I realize that the second sentence of this essay has numerous commas and may be a run-on--just like my life right now. Anyway, that's May Madness. I hope you will excuse my post-less few weeks. I promise I will return with even greater wisdom come June--or maybe just the ability to breath again--which ever comes first.

Now, however, for some reason, I feel exhausted. Good Night!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:27

And the Walls Came Tumbling Down

It's just the logical "next step". That's what I have been saying to myself and to everyone else who asks me about Luke's graduation and eventual departure to college. I knew that if I let myself "feel" in this situation--especially as I prepared for his graduation party--that my emotions would bowl me over like a steamroller, so I just conveniently kept them at bay.

But today I woke up and I just didn't feel good; my back hurt, my stomach ached and I just felt "out of sorts". And I was hungry, really hungry (as if I didn't eat enough chocolate revel bars at Luke's party). What was with that? Here's what was with that; I had been holding in all those feelings, those emotions, and those little sorrows too long, and this afternoon, the walls came tumbling down. As I was sort of stumbling through my day, I sat outside on the porch and looked at the swing set in the backyard and saw young Luke swinging on it in my mind. And then the tears flowed...and flowed...and flowed. And I had to give the bowl of raisin bran that I was eating to the dog because I couldn't eat it anymore. As if this wasn't enough for my soul, I went and dug out Luke's baby book and opened the manila file stuck in the very back. I took out a dozen letters written in my handwriting on faded notebook paper. These were letters I had written to baby Luke--passionate letters full of joy and wonder and all-consuming love--letters to a little baby who had transformed my life. And then I cried some more.

Why do we cry when we reminisce and relive happy times? Shouldn't they make us joyful? Shouldn't they fill us up?

I think I cry because I realize that I have already lived that part of my life and I won't ever do it again. I cry when I remember falling in love with Brent and the wonderful fairytale courtship we shared. I cry when I remember the thrill of early marriage and creating a home. I cry when I remember how surprised I was by the enormous, overpowering, protective love I felt for Luke when he was born--and I didn't even know him! Yet, I loved him more than myself because he was MINE. I cry when I think of all of these things because they were wonderful blessings from God and I know I only get to experience them once here on earth.

But Heaven, oh Heaven! Heaven will always be like those moments that we cry about--like those golden, sweet memories we hold so dear. And in Heaven, we won't have to let go of those feelings or adjust our emotions to our continually evolving circumstances. In Heaven, every day will be like the best days we have experienced here on earth. Every day will be falling in love with Brent! Everyday will be being a new bride! Everyday will be setting up my very own home! Everyday will be a beautiful day with my child. And I will be fulfilled--always. But my happy memories will pale in comparison to being in the presence of the Ultimate Joy-Giver. Ultimately fulfilled, ultimately transformed, in Heaven I will truly be HOME...there will be no more tears.

It still makes me sad that my sweet first-born is growing up, but it truly is the logical next step in his life--and mine. Now God can show Luke all of those wonderful, life-giving, breath-taking moments of time as He creates another beautiful legacy of love.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Revelation 21:1-4

Gospel, Outcasts, Lost People

Have I ever told you how proud I am of my soon-to-be graduate, Luke? Well, I am. And here's why; Luke is chasing after God and people and he is not only influencing Ames High, but he's building the Kingdom. I could have no greater joy than seeing my son living for--and thriving in--Christ our Lord! To God be the glory!

Last week, Luke and a few friends were in charge of youth group senior night at Escape 22. For his part, Luke decided to write the underclassmen a letter. Here is what he said:

"Sharing the Gospel, Outcasts and Lost People"

Dear Escape,
Looking back on the last four years I have learned so much, it has been jam-packed with things that are so obviously God. One thing in my life that has been transformed is my understanding of the gospel. I always knew it per se, could recite the words and the right verses and everything, but it had no power to me. One of the things that has been instrumental to this shift has been my understanding of missions. Missions are a lot more like James Bond or Rambo than like a geometric proof. The gospel is a war over the souls of people. There are eternal consequences. God has a part for every person to play in his plan to have all peoples come to know him.

All of that is exciting and great, but I thought, “I am only a high school student, what can I do now?” I looked around my high school and saw lost people, happy on the outside, but desperate on the inside. I saw outcasts that no one else would even have a conversation with. I will never forget the response I got from one kid I reluctantly and awkwardly just sat down and talked with, “Thanks, no one has ever done that for me before.” I think of the countless stories of desperation and hopelessness I have heard and how perfectly the gospel could break into those lives. One thing I’ve learned is that people are most receptive to the gospel when they see daily the consequences of their sin.

Up until about a year ago I had never really shared the gospel. It made me feel guilty and sad and I wondered if my faith was even real. In this last year I have shared the gospel many times and I have seen people come to know Christ. I have felt the Holy Spirit come down and have experienced joy and elation that can come only from God.

In everything, Escape, don’t forget love. This year I applied to go to China, and one of the parts of the interview was sharing the gospel. I shared it the best I knew how and thought I did a pretty good job. Stan said I did fine, but that I didn’t really mention God as a creator or explain the deeply caring relationship between God and his Son. In short,"love". I said alright and went on my way. A couple of weeks later I was meeting with a friend over lunch. He was very eloquent in his words and shared with me what he believed and how he couldn’t accept Christianity. What puzzled me was that it sounded like he was sharing the gospel with me! Everything he was saying was so close to the truth. Not knowing what else to say I said in parting. “Well, you keep on looking for truth, but don’t be surprised if what you find is God and he is madly in love with you” It wasn’t until after the conversation I realized all my friend was missing was love.

I had a vision to reach my high school, to create a revival to have many people come to know Christ. I wanted people to tell stories of what God had done at Ames High. Of this vision, I saw very little come to be. I’m pretty much done with high school; it’s up to you now. Escape, don’t live your life with regrets.

" The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Matthew 25:40

Choose Life

Oh, how I wish I had been on that hill so many years ago, when Jesus shared his wisdom and spoke what we now call, "The Beattitudes." As I read Matthew 5 today, I tried to picture myself on that grassy knoll, shading my eyes from the sun, shifting positions to see my Lord more clearly. I tried to listen for his voice--booming across the plain so powerfully that everyone present could hear. I tried to soak in the words He spoke to me--and to all the others--because I wanted to understand what it meant to live by a higher law--to think on a higher plane. I wanted to understand how I, too, could be like Jesus. As I tried to do all these things, His words became real, and this is what He said to me:
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Tori, you must be a peacemaker when you feel like being a troublemaker even if you are the one who has been wronged. I will bless you when you choose to make peace and not war. I will open your eyes to more of me. People will say things about you that are not true, but I know the truth about you. People will do mean things to you and say mean things about you--and these will hurt your heart. But keep doing the right thing and saying peaceful words--even when you feel like hurting back--and I will bless you for this. Please don't get bitter. Bitterness eats your soul. You need to rejoice in these difficult times, Tori--in the times where you feel like you can't control your hate. I will control these feelings for you if you let me, but you have to give up control. You CANNOT sting when you have been stung. I forbid it and I want you to obey. Keep thinking of me and everything I went through for you. I am God and I have spoken.

And gently, but clearly, my Lord also spoke these words:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. ...if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? ...And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

My precious daughter, I want you to listen even more carefully now. What am I saying is contrary to your nature. It will be very difficult for you. That's why you have Me. You can't do it by yourself--you are too swayed by your love of yourself and your emotions. You are too swayed by what you perceive as "justice." But I am the one who avenges, remember? Here is what you need to know (take notes because I know that once you leave this chair, the clearness of my words will become fuzzy in your mind): When I said "Love your enemies", I meant it. It's not just a suggestion or a really good idea, it is my COMMAND. I want you to look like my child, and if you only love when it comes naturally, Tori, you are not giving a clear reflection of my character. I love ALL THE TIME. Even when you are unlovable--even when you reject me. If you only extend my grace to those who treat you well, are you any different than the rest of society? I want you to be set apart, Tori. I want your ways to shine above the ways of the world. I want you to walk the high road and never bow to un-Godlike emotions or words. And when I said, "Do everything in love", I meant EVERYTHING.

Tori, I say "Be perfect" because my Spirit resides in you. This is not an impossibility. This is a matter of faith--faith in a perfect God. And faith in the promises I give. If I say you "can do all things through Christ", then you can. You can even be a peacemaker and a lover when you feel like being a rabble-rouser and a fighter. If I say that "all things work together for good for those who love God", then they do. Your situation may look bad to you and you may think that you have to take control, but I am still there, working it all out and making you better in the process--IF you will yield.

Are you still listening, my child? I am still speaking. It's all about choices. You can choose God's ways which give life, or man's ways which lead to death. I say choose Life. I love you.

" And this is my prayer; that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God."

Philippians 1:9-11

Laundering Love

I had a little epiphany today as I sometimes do; God faithfully continues to renew my old-self mind with his transforming new-to-me truths. Here is the "Aaha!" He showed me today:

So...I don't normally do my 18 year old's laundry, but sometimes when he is super busy with track, AP exams, end of the year projects, and Senior night at youth group and his clothes (and his brother's clothes--which he also launders) are emptied out of his hamper all over the apartment floor...then I step in and help him out.

Today was one of those times.

As I was busily folding the clothes I found laying on the table and had determined to be clean (I did this by smelling them) and sorting others into the washing machine, I thought, " I am happy to be doing this." And then I thought again, "Why do I not feel the same way about doing my own laundry as I feel about doing my son's?"

The reason that doing Luke's laundry was not a burden is this: I love him so much and it gives me joy to serve him. I don't love the process of doing laundry for Luke, I love the goal. The goal of my service to him is to show undying love for my firstborn. The goal of my committment is LOVE.

Now, here is my epiphany; I don't act like that for God.

Shouldn't my work for the Kingdom, for my family, for my friends give me joy because I am doing it for my Lord? Shouldn't my satisfaction stem from doing my very best for my Father? I must realize that doing the work God gives me is one way I can love Him. The process might not always be pleasant, but if I realize I am showing my Father love by serving Him, then I will have JOY. TRUE JOY.

And then, I will be showing my Father (and Luke) TRUE LOVE.


"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."

Colossians 3:23

Let's Walk

"When I was little, my nurse Dibby's cousin had a dog, just a mutt, and the dog was pregnant. I don't know how long dogs are pregnant, but she was due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one day and got in the way of the lawn mower and her two hind legs got cut off. They rushed her to the vet and he said, "I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want, but the puppies are okay. She'll be able to deliver the puppies."

Dibby's cousin said, "Keep her alive."

So the vet sewed up her backside, and over the next week the dog learned to walk. She didn't spend any time worrying, she just learned to walk by taking two steps in the front and flipping up her backside, and then taking two steps and flipping her backside again. She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health. She nursed them and then weaned them. And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her."

As I read this excerpt from the late Gilda Radner's book, It's Always Something, it scared me. Yeah, I know it's funny and all, but it really scared me and made me take a good look at the way I "walk". Am I walking in a way that shows that I know Who is in charge, or do I constantly have to take control of the situation so that we all stay "safe"? Does my walk show my children humility, or does my pride prohibit me from being authentic? Do I promote attitudes of gratitude in my offspring but forget to be thankful myself? Do I talk the talk, but not walk the walk? Because if I do these things, my children may be just like me--doing the stepping/flipping/stepping thing--but not really walking "rightly".

But...if I walk like I am supposed to walk--the way that God designed me to walk--then they may be like me too--and more importantly--they will be like Christ, who walked in unison with his Father. Jesus says in John 8, "...I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him."

Lord, help me get in your stride so that I may do what pleases you. I want to walk like you so my children will run to you. May it be so! Amen.

" Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'."

Isaiah 30:21

God Made This

Brad and Tara Hofer met their son and said goodbye to him all within a matter of hours.

The pain is intense. The suffering nearly unbearable.

But God, our God, is still very, very good and we will continue to praise Him.

This post is for Benaiah, whose name means, "God made this".

Benaiah Darwin
God made this.


Benaiah, God loves you.

Benaiah, Jesus holds you.

Benaiah, Mommy cherishes you.

Benaiah, Daddy adores you.

Benaiah, Heaven embraces you.

Benaiah, Welcome Home.

“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Psalm 139:15-16