Panda on Fire

Long time no see, huh?  Well, I took a little blog-o-cation and gave myself permission to not write in my blog for a month.  I had to do this because I kept feeling guilty about not posting.  You see, I have been keeping this blog for nearly four years now and I have rarely gone more than two weeks without checking in.   I have also rarely been as busy “doing stuff “(that’s for you Mom) as I have been these last 4 weeks.   

 When I told Tess that I felt like I was burning the candle at both ends,

she was horrified and gasped, “What?!” because what she thought I said was

burning the panda at both hands.

 

Once we got that misunderstanding straightened out and I explained to her that I had not been abusing pandas, nor had I been burning their hands, I proceeded to explain the meaning of this oft-used colloquial phrase by enunciating the words “candle” and “ends”.  This seemed to clear up her confusion and appease her curiosity, although I did notice that she hid all of the lighters later that day.

This whole job thing has been in high gear lately since my co-worker has been on leave with a family emergency, and I have been thrown into temporary full time employment—something I haven’t done since before we had kids.  (Kudos to all of you moms out there who have figured out how to do that—I think it’s beyond my capabilities.)  I can’t seem to find the time to do all the things I want to do—like see my family and write in this blog--and when I do have the time, I am too exhausted to do them—eerily similar to when I had four little kids. When my kids were small, I never aspired to be the Super Mom you see portrayed on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook these days.  I could barely handle dressing, feeding, and keeping them all alive.  In fact, to cut down on laundry (and bathing) in the summer, I just had them wear swimsuits all season long.  Not only was swimwear completely washable—outside with the garden hose or in the neighbor’s pool—it really never needed to be removed except for the occasionally potty break (which sometimes also happened in the neighbor’s pool). You think I kid.

Sometimes this feeling of being overwhelmed makes me panic.  But in that panic, I have finally learned to run to Jesus.  There is no rushing in Jesus…no chaos…no fear.  It is in Jesus I must learn to find my rest.  My world may continue to spin faster than I like.  My days may never again be at my own disposal.  I may never have time to selfishly do what I want.  But my Jesus stays the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  And I can always bank on that.  His never changing nature comforts and grounds me. 

So this week, when I feel like things are speeding by me at a thousand miles an hour, I’m going to choose to stop…and sit…and steep myself in His powerful Word.  God’s Word changes how I feel about my life.  It tells me how I should think.  It makes my world smaller and God’s purposes bigger.  It tells me this story--His-story--is not about me.

I may never aspire to be Super Mom, but I have a Super God.  And I can trust Him with all this life throws at me.

Even when I feel like I am burning the panda at both hands.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  

Psalm 91:1