Declaration of Dismay (by Shay)

My sweet third-born is 17 today!!  Because of that, I decided to make her my guest blogger!  As an assignment for school, Shay was to write a “declaration” about anything she wished based on the structure of the Declaration of Independence.  Shay choose to evaluate American society.  Check out her observations—both entertaining and insightful. 

(And after you are done reading, get off the computer and be productive!)

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for humans to break the bonds which have connected them with the couch, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to stop exercising laziness.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created able with certain undeniable aspirations that among these are passion, progress, and productivity. However, these desires are forgotten, when idleness is instituted among Men, deriving their just notions away from productivity-- whenever any form of procrastination, such as Facebook, Netflix, or Pinterest, becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new aspirations, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their success and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that productivity shall not be sacrificed for the sake of momentary entertainment; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. Such has been the patient sufferance of The American population; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former way of life. The history of the American way of life is a history of repeated wasted time and unfulfilled potentials, all having in direct object the establishment of Productivity over lethargy. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

We Have invented gadgets that encourage laziness by minimizing our daily work, and doing the simplest of activities us.

We have electronic toothbrushes that brush our teeth for us.

We have walkways in airports that move so we don’t have too.

We Have buttons on our steering wheels so we don’t have to stretch to the dashboard.

We have blankets with armholes so we don’t have to hold them up on our own.

We have calculators so we no longer have to do simple arithmetic.

We have cars that can park all by themselves.

We have Google so that we never have to wonder.

We have garage doors that open themselves.

We have pre-made sandwiches with the crust already cut off.

We fast food and T.V dinners.

We have Velcro so we don’t have to tie our shoes.

We have u, idk,and k because it’s too hard to write out you, I don’t know, and okay.

We have spell check so that we never have to learn to spell.

We have ice Cream cones that rotate so our tongues don’t have to and cups that automatically stir up our chocolate milk.

We have television for constant entertainment.

We have Facebook for constant procrastination.

We have everything we need without work or struggle.

We have chairs named after the offense itself.

We have robbed ourselves from noticing the beauty of natural life.

We have robbed ourselves from the joy of satisfaction and hard work.

We, therefore, the people of America, in appealing to our fellow peers for the rectitude of our intentions, solemnly publish and declare, that we are, and of Right ought to be free from the bonds wasted time and wasted potential; and that we are free to live lives full of purpose, we have full Power to take action, and live life to the fullest.