And I thought I Was the Teacher...

At D6 tonight, where I teach a great bunch of wide-eyed kindergarten students, we had a dilemma. Little Lily didn't want to stay in class. Little Lily wanted to sprint out the open door and find her mommy. Little Lily cried and writhed in my arms as I tried to comfort her and keep her from escaping. Little Lily believed that her mother had made a mistake leaving her in that classroom because everything felt wrong to her. That's what Little Lily thought.

Here's the truth: Lily's mommy loves Lily sooooo much that she allowed Lily to be uncomfortable for a time in a place unfamiliar to her. Lily's mother knew that the Kindergarten D6 would be just right for Lily--a place where she could grow closer to God and fellowship with her friends. Lily's mother would never do anything to hurt Lily and only does what she knows is best for her daughter---even if the best feels like the "worst" to Lily. If Lily really understood how trustworthy her mommy is and how much her mommy loved her (more than Lily can begin to comprehend), she would be able to be at peace with the decisions her mommy makes for her. But Lily is a kindergartener--fearful, immature, and child-like. That's OK for Lily. She will grow and learn that her mother is her protector and the lover of her very soul. She will adjust to changes and learn that not all of them are bad. Life lessons--even hardships--will teach Lily to be strong.

I recognized myself in Little Lily. Sometimes, I too, cry and writhe--trying with all my might to get out of God's grasp. I twist and I squirm until I am sweaty and exhausted--just like Lily was. And, if I see what appears to be an open door to freedom, I try to sprint out so I can be on my own. I believe that God has made a mistake by putting me in an uncomfortable situation because everything feels wrong to me. That's what I think.

Here's the truth: God loves me sooooo much that he allows me to walk through unfamiliar territory sometimes--places where the pathways are broken and the signs are unclear. God allows these uncomfortable, unbearable times because He knows that where He has me is exactly where I need to be. He knows that in that place I will grow weaker in myself, but stronger in Him. God, my Father would never do anything to hurt me. His love for me and His devotion to me are unfathomable! If I really understood this about God and trusted Him fully, I could be at peace anywhere He places me. I am not a child any longer. I know that what God says about Himself is true and that what He says about me is true too; I am precious to Him.

Now I need to make the decision to believe that truth, remember my worth, and begin to rest in His arms.

Thanks, Lily, I needed that.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:2