Thursday, August 19, 2010

Time Wins

So here I sit...struggling against all the changes that my life is throwing at me. It doesn't matter how much I struggle, though, my foolish kicking and screaming don't make one iota of difference to TIME--which marches on. I read an article in Scientific American while I was on vacation and it said something like, "scientists are now discussing if the dimension of "time" really exists at all..." The article was interesting and all, but come on folks, TIME exists! I can see it in my graying hair and my kid's too-short jeans. I can see it when my babies turn into teenagers in the blink of an eye. And I can see it when I remember how things used to be--and long for it to be that way again. Here's what I am talking about:
  • No one had to buy crayons or markers or any fun little-kid stuff for school this year--just grown up, boring, un-fun school supplies....
  • No one really "plays" outside anymore; they might lay on the hammock or ride their bike to a friend's house, but my days of sitting in my Adirondack chair and watching them play on the swingset are over... "Look, Mom! I can touch the the tree with my toes!"
  • When I go to Target or Walmart to do errands, I don't have a whole gaggle of kids following me--in fact, more often than not, I am alone...
  • And the biggie...Luke leaves for college TOMORROW and I will be setting out five--not six--places at the dinner table every night--until I set out 4, then 3, then 2....
My family is growing up and I don't like it.

My kids are turning into young adults and I don't like it.

I REALLY liked all the little kid stuff like doing the Library Reading Program in the Summer and having dirty tired kids who played all together on the swingset after eating supper on the porch. I liked reading books to them and drawing pictures on their lunch sacks, and I even liked watching Arthur in the afternoons after school while they thought I was working in the kitchen.

I REALLY loved having little kids!

And I really love the ages my kids are now!

Does that sound contradictory? I guess what I am saying is that I have thoroughly enjoyed my kid's childhoods and the role of "Mom" is a comfy, cozy place for me. I want things to be static, but at the same time, I want my kids to enjoy all the dynamic, life-changing, growth-producing stages that I experienced. I can't have it both ways.

TIME seems to be the winner in this game, so I'm thinking maybe I should stop pouting. And start enjoying all that this stage of life has to offer.

But...just for now, I think I'll cry a little. Tomorrow will be a new day.

"One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14

1 comment:

  1. Once again awesome, awesome, awesome! I enjoyed reading your blog and so true. They say that grand parenting is super special so I hope they are all telling the truth because I am banking on it! Loved Luke's details from his trip to China, "even though my boys were naughty..." Too funny! Love ya and love your writings!