Thursday, October 24, 2013

Marriage Builder Series #4: He's Not Always Wrong

Hey Girlfriends! We women can be really critical of our great guys.  Why do we do this?  Because our hearts are filled with judgment against our mates and we keep a tally of wrongs done to us.

As a result of this, our hearts become calloused and we don’t hesitate to point out all the faults (real of imagined) of our husbands.  We use every available opportunity to take them down a few notches…all the while forgetting that A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45).  We have evil stored up in our hearts against our guys, and we need to choose to forgive them and give them grace.

Here are the rules we have learned thus far:

Rule #1:  He’s  A Good Guy…believe the best in him
Rule #2:  He’s Not Your Project…stop picking on him
Rule #3:  He’s Not Your Savior…let him off the hook

Now we add one more…
Rule #4:  He’s Not Always Wrong…choose to be his ally

How do we do this?  Especially when we are in a pattern of faultfinding? We do it by choosing to be AGREEABLE.  Agreeability is the characteristic of choosing to look past another’s seeming ignorance or immaturity and allowing ourselves to see them as Christ sees them.  Agreeability is realizing that my opinion does not always have to be shared.  Agreeability chooses to listen to the person when the topic of conversation bores them.  Agreeability says “I love you just the way you are.” 

A woman who has chosen to be agreeable doesn’t need to compete with her husband.  If her guy notices that their favorite restaurant sports a new sign—even though the sign has been there for three weeks already and the wife has seen it numerous times—and he says, “Look Honey, they got a new sign!” an agreeable wife says, “Wow!  You’re right!” and not, “That’s been there for three weeks already.  I’ve seen it a million times.”

A woman who has chosen to be agreeable realizes that her husband is not her and he does not think like her or act like her.  And he may not even keep his closet clean or put down the toilet seat, but that that does not disqualify him from her love or honor.

A woman who has chosen to be agreeable realizes that she, also, probably has several things about her that irritate her mate, but he rarely mentions them to her.

A woman who has chosen to be agreeable understands that her husband actually needs to be built up so he can lead, not pulled down so he can follow her.

A woman who has chosen to be agreeable preaches the gospel to herself everyday and realizes that she, too, is a sinner saved by an amazing and grace-filled God, and she lets this rightly humble her and help her to forgive her husband when he hurts her. 

Let’s choose to be our husband’s allies by being sweet and agreeable to them.  They will respond well to our admiration and our opinion of them will change.  We will be storing up good things in our hearts when we do this.

They’re not always wrong.  God made our husbands just the way he wanted them and we need to appreciate them, not tear them down.

Challenge for the Day:  Do you find yourself correcting and criticizing your husband often?  Memorize 2 Corinthians 10:5 (below) and keep careful track of your thoughts toward your guy this week.  When you find yourself being critical, counter that thought by counting your blessings…being married to him is one of them!
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:1

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