‘member that time when my friend Jody and I played hooky from a conference we were attending and decided to go ride a gondola (that’s the flat-bottomed boat gonDOLA not the snow-capped mountain tram GONdola)? And member how when we were walking there, some sketchy guy was about to pass us on the sidewalk so Jody nonchalantly switched her purse to the shoulder opposite him? Then, member how he yelled at her after we passed him and he said, “I would never steal anything from you, sister! I would put something in your purse!” or somethin’ like that? Whatever that means. And how he kept saying it over and over and over? And how we decided to take a different way home after our gondola ride?
And member, how when we got to the ride place, there was some drunk guy staggering around in the ice cream shop beside the so-called river that the gondolas were in? And how he bought two more beers to take along with him on the ride? And member when that ride returned, the gondola drivers who were wearing their little striped scarves, scurried out to quickly clean something off the floor of the boat? Yeah, that was weird and I think it was throw up.
And remember when we finally got to go on a ride with that older couple who took FOREVER to eat their pre-voyage snack, that we thought it was going to be so cool and fun because the gondolier sang to us in Italian? But then, member how it was really just a fake canal and we pretty much just looked at houses and concrete and people walking on the sidewalk and it only took like 20 minutes and how we paid big bucks for that? Yeah, me too.
At least the gelato was tasty.
Next time, let’s play hooky in Venice.